WHEN it comes to surviving the nine-to-five grind, it pays to have friends in the office.
But if these friendships sour, we may be burdened with additional - and unnecessary - stress at work.
Case in point: A friend drunkenly confided in a co-worker about her interest in a married head of department. When the alcohol wore off, she worried if her newfound friend would be a blabbermouth. She was. So my friend quickly became fodder for canteen chatter.
Friendships at work are tricky; it's difficult to know where to draw the line.
On the one hand, they are a vital source of comfort and empathy. On the other, values like loyalty, selflessness and trust are hard to uphold in an environment where we are pit one against the other, with each person's livelihood at stake.
If sociologists are to be believed, work friendships are doomed from the start.
They advise against confiding in co-workers. Don't divulge anything to give them power over you, or that could have negative implications on your job.
Some think bonds forged at work are not even true friendships.
According to Mark Vernon, author of The Philosophy Of Friendship, these are borne of necessity and are therefore limited. He calls them 'utility friendships'.
'Take the workplace away and the relationship will flounder,' he predicts. In other words, business and friends should never mix.
I think otherwise. Not all friendships have to fulfil all needs to be valuable. Some friends make us laugh. Some are good listeners; others throw the most awesome parties.
But only my cubbie mates really understand the kind of pressures I face at work. When we talk shop, they know exactly what I mean - the agony of a canned story, the obsession with bylines. They tell me how I am doing professionally - no pretences - and act as a sounding board.
Sure, I can think of more than a few potentially tricky situations that could arise: If one friend gets promoted before the other; or when a collaborative project starts to fray nerves.
Yes, some friendships will fall by the wayside.
Those that soldier on are often ones where both parties respect each other's boundaries, where there is confidentiality about personal matters.
There will be many things that need to be ironed out, mulled over and discussed. But what I figure is this: Friendships that survive a cut-throat work environment can only come out the stronger for it. And, in the long run, these friendships are exactly the ones worth fighting for.
This article was first published in The Straits Times on Jun 2, 2008
