By Dr Philip Poi

WHEN I first started writing this article, it was to be directed at elderly parents who had trouble coping with their middle-aged children. After sounding this out to some of my patients' middle-aged offspring, it was put to me that these children had a greater need to understand their aged parents.

I have to say that I am not a psychologist but a geriatrician (physican specialist for the elderly). So my comments are based on my experience with many patients and their middle-aged children, as well as my own parents.

Many of our parents led austere lives as children due to the World War 2, and many had had a strict upbringing. As a result, many elderly are stoic and uncomplaining. Parenting was strict and children often grew up to be their parents' pride.

It is sometimes hard to accept the fact that the "pillars" of our being, our parents, are growing old and frail. Trying to help them can be even more challenging, as many of you have found out.