ONE woman was told by her mother to sleep on the floor because she was so fat, "she didn't need a mattress''.

Another gave up her dream of being a fashion designer because she worried her heft would make her stand out for the wrong reasons in a thinobsessed industry.

These painful stories came tumbling out after 33-year-old Sharmilah Begum (above) started a support group for overweight women two years ago.

The group of eight has now grown to more than 200. Most of the women, who are in their late 20s and hold jobs ranging from lawyers to administrators, meet regularly in an Ang Mo Kio shophouse.

The space is home to Ms Sharmilah's organisation, Big Is Gorgeous, which conducts belly dancing, grooming and etiquette classes for plus-size women who would otherwise feel selfconscious about pursuing these activities in a regular environment.

Instead of organising health talks, which overweight women hate because they are already inundated by such messages in their daily life, she decided to focus on helping them get their sexy grooves back through specially tailored lap dance and etiquette classes.

The etiquette classes teach the women how to sit gracefully by closing their legs and resting them sideways, because most have difficulty crossing them.

Lap dancing classes, meanwhile, do not feature challenging moves like high leg raises and splits.

The weight loss comes naturally when the women start feeling excited about life and good about themselves. Says Ms Sharmilah: "Once you have the mental health, you can gain control of your life. When you're happy with yourself and contented, everything will fall into place.''

She came to this conclusion about 10 years ago when, plagued by inadequacy as a drama teacher, freelance make-up artist and performer at private functions, she started turning to fried, cheesy and creamy food for comfort. "I was feeling stressed, feeling I had not achieved enough in life.''

At age 21, the A-level holder tipped the scales at 90kg on a 1.58m frame. She was diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension, but it didn't stop her putting on another 10kg within two years.

She used to be able to squeeze in 16 to 17 hours every day teaching drama, doing make-up, performing and partying after that. But she found herself tiring after just four to five hours of work. "I was very frightened. There was so much I wanted to do in life and I couldn't keep up,'' she recounts.

Instead of hitting the gym ? which she dreads ? she took up belly dancing. It didn't take her long to shed 20kg as she grew to love and flaunt her curves.

"I wear my belly dancing costume, my bra piece, and I show my ''tyre'!'' she says, pointing to her generous hips. "I used to be conscious of it but when I took up belly dancing, I realised how beautiful it is when you move and you have all these ''tyres' here.''

Now 79kg, her body "rejects'' unhealthy food like fried chicken and chocolate. "Once I smell it, I feel unwell. I feel like eating soupy, steamed food instead,''she says.

In 2002, she married a 1.8m-tall Chinese Indonesian former model who she says "found my confidence very sexy''. The couple get strange looks in the street but it doesn't bother her.

Last year, she took part in the TV game show Deal Or No Deal and ploughed her $30,000 winnings into a plus-size boutique, and makeover and dance studio in Ang Mo Kio Avenue 8. She wants to work with schools next, to improve the self-image of overweight children.

She says: "You don't have to feel down just because you're big. You can have fun and still look beautiful and feel appreciated.''

tanhy@sph.com.sg

ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY MICHELLE ANG, JOANNA KANG AND FAYE SHEN

This story was first published in The Straits Times on Mar 29, 2008.