By Veena Bharwani

THEY were very close.

As his elder sister, she played matchmaker and found him a wife.

As her loving younger brother, Mr Sukdev Singh, 58, donated his right kidney to her, when both her kidneys failed.

That was 23 years ago.

Mr Singh, the managing director of Top Guard Security, will receive an award for being one of Singapore's longest surviving organ donors, on 14 Nov.

The award ceremony, which is to honour all living organ donors in Singapore, is organised by the Society of Transplantation (Singapore).

In 2007, the Society honoured 706 organ donors in a similar donor appreciation ceremony.

But receiving the award will be bitter sweet for Mr Singh, because his sister, Madam Suvaran Kaur, is no longer alive to witness it.

After living a relatively normal life for 16 years after transplant, Madam Kaur got an infection and died in 2002, at the age of 58.

Her immune system had weakened due to years of being on medication to prevent her body from rejecting the transplanted kidney.

"I'm happy she had some years to be with her family after the transplant but very sad she is not here with me today," said Mr Singh.

Recalling how Madam Kaur found out about her kidney failure in 1984, he said: "She kept having unbearable back aches. So, I advised her to come to Singapore for further medical checkups."

His sister was married with seven children and living in Batu Pahat, Johor.

She was 40 at the time, and a housewife.

After she went through several checkups in Singapore, her doctors found both her kidneys were failing.

Only candidate

Right away, Mr Singh, together with his younger brother and sister, went for tests to see if they could be potential kidney donors.

Only Mr Singh was a suitable candidate. Without hesitating, he said yes to donating his kidney to her.

"She's my sister and there was no question of whether I would do it or not, regardless of the risks involved," he said.

"At that time, kidney transplantation was still a new concept to all of us." Like all operations, there were risks.

He added: "Of course my wife and her parents were concerned. They worried about who would take care of my family if something happened to me."

The operation, despite being painful, was a success.

No surprise

That Mr Singh gave his kidney to his sister wasn't a surprise to Madam Kaur's third child Paramjit Kaur, 45.

She said: "They were very close. They confided in each other about everything."

Added Madam Paramjit Kaur, a teacher in Singapore: "When my mother first found out she had kidney failure, it was my uncle who accompanied her for dialysis three times a week.

"After the transplant, my mother, who kept coming back to Singapore for checkups, would travel all the way to Changi, where my uncle lived, to celebrate Rakhsha Bandhan with him."

Raksha Bandhan (the bond of protection in Hindi) is an Indian celebration of the relationship between brothers and sisters.

It is marked by the tying of a rakhi, or holy thread, by the sister on the wrist of her brother.

Even while approaching death, the bond Madam Kaur shared with her brother did not weaken.

They continued to talk to each other often, even seeking advice on domestic problems, Madam Paramjit Kaur said.

"Even the year she died, she kept a rakhi for her brother but she passed away before the festival and couldn't tie it on him."

That's why, to this day, she still has a lot of respect for her uncle's selfless act. She said: "It is not easy to cut a part of your body and donate it at great personal risk."

veenab@sph.com.sg

This article was first published in The New Paper.