I HAD my whole life planned out when I was in my early teens - at least, I thought I did.

I was determined to find the man of my dreams in university, get married by 24, have my first kid by 26.

Well, my 25th birthday looms at the end of this month and now the possibility of being married at my age makes me queasy.

As for having babies by next year? To quote Tony Soprano: 'Fuhgeddaboudit!'

Like many young people my age, the notion of later rather than sooner is appealing, no thanks to what's happening to couples around us.

Figures released by the Department of Statistics last week say as much: Divorce rates are inching up. Marriage rates, on the other hand, are heading south.

Odds are, the increasing divorce rates are making us think hard about settling down, so we're settling down to committed relationships later: The median ages of grooms and brides in first marriages have been steadily rising, from 28.9 and 26.3 in 2002, to 29.8 and 27.2 last year.

I wonder if the numbers are spelling out a 'casual is sexy, caring is creepy' attitude, as a recent New York Times column on modern love put it.

Sure, there are still plenty of young Singaporeans bent on marrying their college sweethearts, having that HDB flat and 2.5 kids, all within a few years of graduation.

But many of my contemporaries are also dating prolifically, relishing their early 20s as a time to flit around.

Bonus points if we find Mr or Ms Right - if they exist in the first place - but to settle down now? Maybe not.

Much like browsing in a supermarket, we prefer to amble leisurely down the aisles and see what's available - squeeze the fruit, taste the free morsels, or check out a new brand of juice.

We may find a few choice items, but it's likely we'd ditch them for something better on the way to the cashier.

It is the paradox of technology: While the Internet has made it easier for us to find love and maintain relationships, it also thwarts our hunger for deeper, more steadfast connections.

Maybe we are spreading too thinly the attention and energy needed to sustain our social and love lives.

Or it could be due to our modern disposable consumer mentality, in which relationships and feelings can be chucked like an empty milk carton or first-generation iPod.

So can you really blame us for being cynical about settling down early?

Anyway, if we find a like-minded soul who believes that fairytale endings are exactly just that - fairytales - then aren't we better for going in with our eyes wide open?

So I was quite relieved when my current beau recently remarked about how a Facebook friend, an ex-college-classmate-turned-mum, had tediously boring updates about picking up kids from school and cooking dinners for six.

'That's what happens when you get married and have kids before you turn 30,' he said with a shudder.

I couldn't have agreed more.

This article was first published in The Straits Times on July 14, 2008.