Our own sufferings and pleasures are very like the sufferings and pleasures of others.
Peter Singer

It is part of human nature to take a special interest in our own sufferings and joys, and in those of our family and friends. In general, the closer the relationship, the more motivated we are to try to promote someone's wellbeing.

I and mine

In his wonderful book How Are We To Live?, the Australian philosopher Peter Singer says we each have a personal perspective on the world, from which our own interests take centrestage.

Family and friends' interests are close behind, with those of strangers pushed to the back.

He illustrates this by asking us to consider the following scenario. Suppose your child's school is on fire. She is trapped alone inside one room; 20 other children are trapped inside another. You have time to break open only one door. Which do you choose?

Singer thinks that most people would rescue their own child. The parents of the other children would, of course, be very unhappy about this. But if they were honest, they would admit that in similar circumstances they would likely do the same thing.

Them and theirs

We are all committed to our own happiness, that of our families, and the happiness of those with whom we have reciprocal relationships. I do not see how we can be blamed for this. It is difficult to see how society could operate if things were otherwise.

But a moment's reflection allows me to see that other people are just as committed to their happiness, and to the happiness of their families and friends, as I am to mine. And they have every right to be.

Subjectively, my sufferings and pleasures are paramount. They are, after all, the only sufferings and pleasures I will ever feel. But objectively, the sufferings and pleasures of others are no less important.

This may be a simple insight, but it challenges me to think hard about the way I choose to live.

An important choice

Recently, I was reading about the eye disease trachoma (repeated conjunctivitis infection). It is a significant problem in parts of the developing world. Over time, trachoma sufferers can develop trichiasis, a painful and potentially blinding condition where the eyelid and eyelashes turn in on the eye. Currently, there are 150 million trachoma sufferers worldwide; 10.6 million have developed trichiasis; and 5.9 million have irreversible blindness caused by trachoma.

One treatment for trachoma is a course of the antibiotic tetracycline. The charity Sightsavers (www.sightsavers.org) says this costs just $1.50. It is sobering that each day I spend quadruple that amount on a semi-skimmed latte coffee.

Now, if I were suffering from a painful and potentially blinding eye disease I would not hesitate to spend $1.50 on treatment. Neither would I hesitate to pay for treatment for my family and friends. But how will I react to the knowledge that millions worldwide suffer from trachoma?

Of course, I cannot help them all. My entire income would not even scratch the surface of the problem. But that is hardly the point. I can, with relatively little inconvenience to myself, ease the suffering of dozens, perhaps even hundreds, of them, if I so choose. The question is, will I?

Looking outward

This is just one example. The world is depressingly full of people who lack food, shelter, medicine, clean water, and much else besides. In our own communities there are plenty of worthwhile causes to which we can donate time and/or money.

We are all faced with the choice of how we ought to live. Do we limit ourselves purely to self-interest and the interests of our nearest and dearest? Or do we also consider the welfare of those with whom we may have no relationship at all, apart from our common humanity?

Singer's How Are We To Live? makes a powerful case for making the latter choice - not only because of the good we can do for others, but also because of the good we can do for ourselves.

He argues that many people's lives are unfulfilling because they spend too much time looking inward. They have little purpose beyond accumulating possessions and quickly succumb to a sense that their existence lacks meaning.

Singer says that the best way to give meaning to life is to look outward and work to relieve suffering in the world:

'One thing is certain: you will find plenty of worthwhile things to do. You will not be bored, or lack fulfilment in your life. Most important of all, you will know that you have not lived and died for nothing, because you will have become part of the great tradition of those who have responded to the amount of pain and suffering in the universe by trying to make the world a better place.'

E-mail: gary@garyhayden.co.uk

Gary Hayden is a freelance writer who specialises in education, science & philosophy, health & well-being, travel and short fiction. This is the last of his five-part series on relationships

This article was first published in Mind Your Body, The Straits Times on Mar 12, 2008.