Most of us can't say the darnedest things and get away with it. Here are some clever ways provided by women's magazine, Simply Her, to help you rebound from those embarrassing foot-in-mouth situations.
The reality is she is not. Deborah Torres Patel, a leading voice, speech and presentation coach recalls: "Someone asked if I was having another baby at a business function last year. I was just wearing a loose-fitting Punjabi pantsuit. So I replied: 'No, I'm not pregnant. Do I look fat to you?'"
Since you've virtually called her fat, apologise immediately - and make it heartfelt and sincere, Deborah tells Simply Her. You could say,"I was mistaken because your outfit looks big on you. I'm so sorry about it."
To put it succintly, never to ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see an obvious baby bump.
2. YOU GUESS SOMEONE'S AGE WRONGLY
You comment that it's nice of someone to bring her son along. Then you find out that he's her husband.
Age is a sensitive topic, but don't make a big deal out of it by apologising profusely. Turn it into a compliment, inject humour, or draw the attention to yourself. Try turning the situation around by saying: "Have I mentioned that I desperately need to get my eyes checked?" or "Your spouse is so youthful and good-looking. You've got great taste!"
Never make assumptions. If you want to find out the identity of your guest's partner, just smile and ask politely.
3. YOU UNKNOWINGLY INSULT SOMEONE
While chatting with a group of acquaintances, you unknowingly make a remark that insults some of them. For example, saying that you'll never do something - only to be told that some of them have done just that.
The best way out is to laugh and chide yourself. If the person counters with her viewpoint, listen politely and take a chance to talk about a neutral topic.
You don't have to censor yourself, just respect others' opinions.
4. A FRIEND CATCHES YOU GOSSIPING ABOUT HER
You add your two cents' worth of the latest (and malicious) gossip about a mutual friend in a conversation, only to realise that the subject is nearby and has heard every word.
If you're talking about someone who happens to be within earshot, admit it and apologise.
If you find out that the object of your gossip happens to be a relative or close friend of one of the people you're talking to, apologise and say, "This is what I heard about her. Please correct me f I'm wrong," says Alison Lester, communication coach and founder of AJ Communication Thinking.
Can't help but participate in gossip sessions? Try and confine such talk to a very small and close group of friends and family. Be smart and avoid doing the deed publicly.
5. YOU LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG
You ruined a birthday surprise by texting the birthday boy/girl instead of informing the host. Try and save the situation by telling him/her the truth, and convince the intended party to keep up the pretense.
While it is not particularly unpleasant, it can be frustrating to the party planner - so try and come up with a credible excuse for limiting contact with the surprisee.
6. YOU MISTAKE A STRANGER FOR SOMEONE YOU KNOW
You initiate a chat with someone who turns out not to be who you think he is. In this case, "simply apologise and say it's a case of mistaken identity," advises. It also helps if you can do it with a polite smile.
7. YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE A CASE OF FOOT-IN-MOUTH
Your spouse or a loose-tongued child blurts out an inappropriate comment and puts you on the spot.
Since people are generally more forgiving with children, Alison suggests dismissing their remarks with something like, "Don't kids say the darnedest things?"
Also, compliment the person your child has hurt with a nice comment.
If the offender is your spouse, Deborah advises you to offer an apology to the offended party, but not while your spouse is within hearing range.
When at home, point out that it is poor etiquette for your husband or child to behave that way, says Ser Lee. Make it known that what they said or did had an effect on you and others as well.
For the full feature, grab a copy of May 2008's Simply Her at all newsstands today.
