JUST realised something about superheroes. They have one thing in common, which may or may not have been a deliberate act by their creators: none of them takes public transport. And even when they have their own wheels, like Batman, they are not subject to the vagaries of peak-hour traffic. You never, ever, hear of Batman being unable to save a damsel in distress because he was pulled over for driving in an all-day bus lane.

It's an interesting thought to mull over, especially when you're stuck in a one-kilometre, bumper-to-bumper traffic snarl, while the bus lane on your left remains tantalisingly empty, beckoning you to please, please, come on over, it's not yet 8pm, come, come, until you totally lose it and mentally dictate a vicious letter to the Forum pages about the stupidity of bus lane restrictions in areas where buses meander by in no less than half-hour intervals.

I mean, we all think that superheroes like Spider-Man have to deal with supervillains made of sand and super-black muck and that it's a really big deal because it's not easy battling your alter ego, Sandman and Mr Muck all at the same time. Still, I'd like to see how Spidey would tackle a different battle - say, our public transport system.

With the current push to persuade Singaporeans to ditch their cars in favour of buses, trains or even taxis, is it likely to be successful? Not when you need superhero powers just to cope with the current system. Here's how Spider-Man's powers would come in handy:

If Spider-Man was stuck at Takashimaya's never-ending taxi queue, he could easily leap across the street and grab a cab from Paragon, where the lines are shorter.

He could use his web-spinning glue thingy to rip off those fake 'on call' signs from taxis and force the drivers to take him as a passenger.

If he had to take a bus, he would have no objections to the window seat - because if the air in the bus got a little too ripe during peak hour, he could easily jump out and cling to the side of the bus for fresh air.

In crowded MRT trains, he could cling to the ceiling and still have room to read the papers.

He could spin a web around commuters who crowd at the main doors and propel the lot right to the back.

To punish taxi drivers who wait for call bookings instead of plying the streets, Spidey could SMS his good friend Storm from X-Men to jam the phone lines so bookings can't get through. And if he happened to be in Shenton Way at 6pm, he would locate the coffee-shop where the cab drivers hide out at and ... if irate commuters had their way, obliterate the lot of them.

Then again, if he wasn't busy chasing villains, he could make a really good living by offering his own unique kind of transport for a fee. But that would raise another sticky problem of what kind of licensing he would need and whether he was qualified as a Class 3 licence holder or if his mode of transport was considered land, air or 'building-to-building'.

So now you know. To be a superhero means never having to stick your arm out to flag down a bus. Of course, you'd have to wear a silly outfit - but, hey, nothing comes free.