THE Germans have a crackling hot hatch (think VW Golf GTI), the Japanese have a wasabe-coated one (Honda Civic Type R), and even the Americans have half a hoot of a hatch (Ford Focus ST).

But the French have to be different. When you think hot hatch, nothing iconic from France comes to mind.

Ah, there's the recently released Peugeot 207 GTi, you say. And what about the Renault RS range?

To be blunt, they are lukewarm at best.

Much of it has to do with the French manufacturers' preference for mile-long gear ratios and vague, rubbery shift levers.

You just can't have a proper hot hatch with these ingredients. Just as you can't make foie gras with chicken liver.

You might disagree, but Citroen's new C4 Coupe is just like that. Its five- speed transmission is geared more towards comfort and friendly urban commute than ultimate urge.

And operating its gearbox is like stirring thick porridge. It is vague and rubbery. Thankfully, because of its long-legged nature, you get by even if you are not in exactly the slot you want.

The C4 Coupe's languid disposition is in some ways beguiling. After a while, you tend to think of the car as a grand tourer rather than another GTI.

Its overall benign nature, however, takes on a mildly manic streak when you extend the engine.

And you might be surprised to know that the C4 revs willingly and cleanly, right past 7,000rpm.

With little persuasion, it will exceed 100kmh in second gear - just before the orange-glow LCD tachometer goes red.

It's very dramatic. Like a flashing alert in the cockpit of an aircraft that has been locked in by a heat-seeking missile.

Alas that's probably the most entertaining part of the car. Despite Citroen's allusion to its active participation in the World Rally Championship (hence the test-car's lively livery), driving the C4 Coupe is almost as entertaining as drinking alcohol-free beer.

You could even say the car is clinical, conveying little of the verve it affords at high revs.

While it will track corners proficiently, you are seldom in the mood to drive it enthusiastically.

On a positive note, it does not exhibit even a tinge of torque steer. And its brakes will stop a truck.

Clearly, the brilliant chassis work evident in Citroens of the 1990s has not been passed on to make this car more fun than it looks.

And in the looks department, the car is not lacking in any way. It is styled boldly and interestingly. Like all Citroens today, it manages to stand out from the crowd - in a good way.

If it was punchier in the low end, if it had a more precise shift lever, and if it had a more communicative chassis, it would be a creditable GTI contender.

But it wouldn't be French then, would it?

CITROEN C4 COUPE
Price: $94,988 with COE
Engine: 1,997cc 16-valve inline-4
Transmission: Five-speed manual
Power: 180bhp at 7,000rpm
Torque: 202Nm at 4,750rpm
0-100kmh: 8.3 seconds
Top speed: 227kmh
Fuel consumption: 11.7 litres/100km (city)
Agent: Cycle & Carriage France