By Tabitha Mok

MOST Singaporeans I have met ask me the same question time and time again: "Why did you choose to study medicine?"

They expect me to say that my parents made me do it, only to react with surprise when I tell them it was my own decision.

I do not blame them. Many Singaporean parents mould their children into trophies testifying to their parenting skills and billboards for their success.

They tend to dictate their children's educational path, usually along popular, pragmatic disciplines such as science and law, leaving them with fewer opportunities to excel in areas they might have potential for, such as sports and the arts.

These parents either want to ensure stable future jobs for their children, or give themselves bragging rights among their relatives and friends.

But this approach may have far-reaching effects: Many of my former schoolmates in Singapore are marooned in university courses they have little or no interest in. Some persevere only because it was what their parents wanted them to do.

If that is indeed the case, then we are producing a generation of youths who live just for their parents, and may in time grow to resent them.

At the other end of the spectrum, having lived in Australia for several years, I observe that parents here seem to extend freedom of choice to their children. This moulds free-spirited individuals who either excel brilliantly in fields of their choice, or drop out of school altogether.

Most of my Australian medical colleagues, for instance, chose medicine not because they were forced into it, but because pursuing a career in this field is their true ambition in life.

Their parents also supported them fully during their school years, even before they made their decision at a tertiary level, without pressuring them into areas they did not want. This gave them the confidence to excel at school, be it in the sciences, the arts or sports, and grow up to become independent individuals.

Of course, granting of freedom should not lapse into disinterest, either.

Those among my peers in Australia whose parents relinquished interest in their choices ended up with poor grades, often winding up in manual jobs such as mining or labour. As adults, their self-esteem and confidence seem also to be lacking.

Maybe the answer is in learning some moderation.

Singaporean parents can take a leaf from Australian parents, by adopting a balanced approach towards education. Instead of compelling them, why not let children choose their own paths, and offer them guidance and moral support when needed?

I am fortunate to have had such parents.

They taught me the importance of education, made sure I was well equipped with assessment books for my 'O' and 'A' Levels, and brewed me cocktails of soup and chicken essence.

They would have supported my ambitions, be that for newscaster or doctor.

This balance, I believe, made me the person I am today.

Tabitha Mok, 22, is a fourth-year medical student at the University of Western Australia

This article was first published in The Straits Times on Aug 11, 2008.