By Neville Stack

IT is the dilemma faced by all parents lucky enough to have something to leave to their kids. Will the kids benefit more by having or not having an inheritance?

British composer Andrew Lloyd Webber (famous for Cats and Phantom of the Opera) has five children by two wives.

And he has informed them he does not intend to leave them his millions.

He thinks it will spoil their lives and cancel out their ambitions. To take away their incentive to make their own way in life.

Stories abound of people who received fat inheritances and proceeded to lose all initiative, to end up worse off.

Children of wealth often suffer from low self-esteem. Many are uncertain whether they could have achieved anything significant or be liked and respected by others if they had not been affluent.

So what can we do about it?

The advice is: Children should be expected to earn their allowances through the accomplishment of specific chores.

Paid holiday jobs, always a good idea, can help your children believe they can support themselves.

Young inheritors, spared their share of life's challenges, are often slow in their personal development.

The comfort and security that money provides can diminish, or delay the crises and challenges necessary for emotional and intellectual development.

For many people, however, being able to provide security and comfort for their kids is a major goal of their working life.

Love & guidance

Teach your child to endure the pain and frustration of delays and disappointments, and to resist the temptation to quit when things are not going their way, rather than shield them from all of life's stresses.

Take the example of Paris Hilton, Peaches Geldof and other celebrity butterflies who know only the 'Gimme-gimme-gimme, spend-spend-spend' lifestyle.

I wonder if it ever occurs to them to ponder the immense problems their own parents and grandparents had in accumulating all those dollars. I doubt it.

So what is my opinion?

Well, I don't have a fortune to lavish on my two children and they would not expect it.

They are doing very nicely on their own efforts and so will their children.

I think the best thing anyone can do for their children is to provide them with the best education they can, no matter what the cost.

And if they can afford some foreign travel to give the youngsters an insight on the 'real' world, then so much the better.

The time the children want help is while the parents are around to give them love and guidance. And the best help they can provide is give them a kick-start in life.

And if there is anything left over, why not do as Sir Andrew does and give lavishly to deserving causes, to reach out to the kids who need a helping hand?

This article was first published in The New Paper on 1 Nov 2008.