CHOOSING a secondary school for our child is like choosing a life partner for her. We would have to play matchmakers between pupil and school.

That was what I told my wife when our daughter received her Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) results on Thursday.

I am not an advocate of matchmade-marriages, but certain principles do apply when choosing a school.

There are many factors that go into getting the right marriage of pupil and school.

And a right marriage is one that would last a lifetime.

Take Swiss Cottage Secondary School's Class of 1971 (Pre-University), whose students and teachers, I am told, would meet (after 37 years!) at the Grand Plaza Hotel on 29 Dec this year.

I understand that former teachers and ex-junior college principals Rudy Mosbergen and Goh Chi Lan would catch up with students, some who are flying in from places as far away as China, India, the Middle East and Europe.

What a happy marriage. And I hope to do the same for our daughter - get her a school with whom she can grow and develop a lasting relationship.

For friends, relatives and readers who have called me for "advice" on choosing a secondary school, here are some thoughts.

RESULTS

They are but one factor to choosing a secondary school. Of course, it matters that the couple is intellectually compatible, so the student must make the aggregate "cut-off" and the school must have the right attributes to make the "spouse" feel at home.

PERSONALITIES

Just like the child, the school has its own character and personality too. Just look at the school's website or walk in to look at its notice boards, check out its canteen and, if you really want to be sure, the toilets.

Feel its ambience and speak with the teachers and principals - and you will get the drift.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

Like the kaypoh matchmaker, ask all the questions. And, if you are still not sure, check with the neighbourhood markets, coffee shops or residents. They may be the "relatives" who tell you things that "the prospective in-law" may not.

DISTANCE

Just as few long-distance marriages survive, a child travelling long distances every day will feel the heat.

If he or she is punished regularly for being late, or is too tired after a long journey home to do his homework, then it is not likely that the marriage will survive.

CCA

Just like a healthy, happy physical relationship, the school and your child must agree on their physical/non-academic needs.

Does the school provide for the co-curricular activity of your child's choice? If he or she likes taekwondo, and the prospective partner does not offer it, then it may not be a good fit.

Most important of all, ask the child how he or she feels. After all, it is the child who is going to the school.

To avoid an ugly "divorce", put the cards out on the table from the start and let him or her make an informed choice. One that the child would feel responsible for, and hopefully, be happy with.

And, yes, you can trust me - the system is purely merit-based.

Students are posted to secondary schools based purely on their PSLE aggregate score. They are ranked in order of merit first, and then placed into schools according to their choices.

So, you do not have to put a school as your child's first choice if you are confident that your child can make it to that school. Take a bit of a gamble with a better school as your first choice and place the "safe" school further down the list.

But, if you want your child to go to an affiliated secondary school, then it is a must that you put it down as your first choice.

And, yes, dear friends and readers - THERE IS NO PERFECT SECONDARY SCHOOL FOR YOUR CHILD.

This article was first published in The New Paper on Nov 23, 2008.