We wish to address some misconceptions that the letter from the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware), 'Education key to tackling problem of underage sex' (Dec21, 2008), may have caused.

• Condom failure is due more to user failure than user ignorance.

Condoms claim an efficacy rate of about 85 per cent, but on condition of 'perfect use' (used correctly and consistently, 100 per cent of the time).

If we adults cannot make claims to such perfect use, what more a teenager who has the added disincentives of curiosity, peer pressure, active hormones and a greater propensity for risk-taking?

• Abstinence education is not just about saying 'no'.

Focus on the Family's No Apologies programme teaches abstinence from premarital sex as the healthiest lifestyle choice, and also covers issues such as relationships, sexually transmitted infections, HIV/ Aids, character, marriage and even facts about condoms.

Saying 'no' to sex now is saying 'yes' to healthy relationships in the long term.

• Abstinence is still the norm.

Unlike developed countries that are decrying abstinence, we have recorded an average pledge rate of 80 per cent from the more than 40,000 young people who have attended No Apologies.

While the pledge is no magic pill, it reveals that youth today still treasure their virginity, contrary to the popular belief that 'everyone is doing it'.

The actual proportion of Singaporean youth engaging in sexual activity has not increased, although those who are start earlier and have more partners.

• Condom use undermines the very thing we want to promote - responsibility.

The basic premise underlying the promotion of condom use is that we do not trust young people to act responsibly and not engage in premarital sexual activity.

Condom use may be safer, but it does not eliminate the risk totally.

Aware is right in emphasising the consequence of every choice. The consequences of premarital sex - especially the emotional, psychological and social - cannot be mitigated by a piece of rubber.

Ms Bryna Sim in her article last Monday, 'Let's talk about sex - seriously', said 'more can be done to better define the lines between good and bad, honourable or otherwise'.

Parental involvement is thus critical. We equip parents with the skills to engage their children through our Let's Talk About Sex programme.

Too often, we hear a young person remark: 'I wish someone had told me earlier that it was possible to save sex for marriage.'

Let's start this year by renewing our faith in our young!

Gary Koh
Mrs Joanna Koh
Master trainers
No Apologies & Let's Talk About Sex
Focus on the Family Singapore

This article was first published in The Straits Times on 11 Jan, 2009.