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Fri, May 15, 2009
The New Paper
He was a good boy: What went wrong?

HE HAD qualified for the Express Stream in Secondary 1, was well-behaved and never late for school.

Then things took a sudden turn in Sec 2.

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He became defiant, skipped classes and started misbehaving.

He was sent for counselling but it did not really help.

What could have possibly gone wrong for one of the two boys who filmed themselves committing acts of vandalism?

The New Paper asked counsellors and psychiatrists for the possible reasons that turn good boys bad.

Dr Brian Yeo, 48, a consultant psychiatrist at Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre, felt that the boys in the videos were just being boys.

He said: 'They call themselves pranksters and by definition, it's just for fun.

'In their teenage minds, they don't think it's a malicious act and they just want to get attention. The number of views of their videos excites them.'

He added that there were other worse actions by teenagers seeking attention, such as filming of fights, school bullying and happy-slapping - where a random person is assaulted and the incident is recorded.

'It is definitely wrong but, to them, it's just for fun for these young boys. Some people may in fact get a laugh out of these things,' said Dr Yeo.

Mr Charles Lee, senior counsellor of Tanjong Pagar FSC, feels that the boys' actions show a lot of pent-up anger.

'They are going through the teenage growing-up years and at this age, teens want outlets to express themselves.

'We need to find out what the anger is about, be it at home or at school. There must also be a reason for the change between Sec 1 and 2, like a drastic change in their lives, we need to know that.'

He suggested that the boys' parents encourage and show the boys appropriate channels, such as sports, as an outlet for their anger.

Other than peer influence, Mr Lee also suggested that poor communciation between parents can also affect children.

'Children can be manipulative and parents must cooperate on deciding what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviours.

'Sometimes, parents worry about pride in giving in to their spouses. It's not about losing face, it's about doing good for the child.'

Lose a good friend

Mr Lee suggested that the parents invite their son's friend over for a chat to understand him better.

He said: 'His parents can also tell him not to mix with the other boy but it means he would lose a good friend.

'So they need to introduce him to places to get new friends. They cannot just leave a vacuum.'

Other than punishing the boys for their misbehavior, Mr Lee also said there is a need to commend the boys for apologising.

'They realised they were wrong and tried to make things right in the avenues they knew of.

'They are showing adult behavior, that they have a conscience, are growing up and learning,' he said.

He added that if children are not appropriately rewarded for good behaviour, they will see no point in trying to do the right thing.

'They will think, 'Why should I be good when no one notices me? When I do the wrong thing, everyone sits up and notices me'.'

Pearly Tan, newsroom intern

This article was first published in The New Paper.

 
 
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