By K Malathy

HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD COPE

True stress is an inability to cope with the demands of day-to-day living. According to Ms Jessie Ooh, a psychologist with the National University Hospital, stressed out children may display symptoms such as withdrawn behaviour or temper tantrums.

Children may also develop school phobia and refuse to go to school. Older children may play truant.

Parents need to take note of significant changes in their child's pattern of behaviour, said Ms Ooh. 'For example, a very active child may suddenly become withdrawn or a healthy child may begin complaining of aches and pains."

Often, parents may not understand their child's change in behaviour and resort to punishment for what they see as 'bad attitude" - being stubborn, lazy or too spoilt.

'Family understanding and support are important in helping children cope with stress," said Ms Ooh.

Children often do not have well-developed coping mechanisms and they need all the help they can get.

Here are what parents can do:

• Orientation - If your child is starting at a new school, get him familiar with the new environment, rules and routines, said Ms Ooh. Keep the home environment as stable as you can while your child gets used to his school environment.

   

• Talking it through - Be open to what your child is saying, says consultant psychiatrist Brian Yeo. Young children may not be able to adequately express their feelings, so be alert to stress signals such as sudden temper tantrums or tearfulness.

   

  Older children are often more able to share their worries about school subjects. Reassure them that they are doing well if their performance is consistent. If they are not doing well, arrange for remedial help, suggested Dr Yeo.

   

• Organisational skills - Children feel stressed out when they have to cope with too much newness. For example, a child in Primary 1 needs to grapple with a timetable that has four or five different subject in a day, while an older student has to get used to different books for just one subject. Help your child organise his study material and also his daily time, advised Ms Ooh.

   

• Social skills - Being able to make friends is a crucial skill for school. Parents should model positive social behaviour at home, said Ms Ooh, and also involve their child in interactive activities.

   

• Relaxation - Encourage young children to sit with their friends during recess, said Dr Yeo. Take an interest in their talk of their friends and classmates.

   

  For older children, Dr Yeo recommended some relaxation techniques. For example, deep and slow breathing can help your child calm down during a stressful moment. Teenagers may also find that listening to music helps.

This article was first published in The Straits Times.