I REALLY enjoyed school.

And not because I was particular good at anything - just that each and every day was a laugh from beginning to end.

I'm sure I was at some point off sick, but I just don't recall because those days must have been so few and far between.

What I am aggrieved about is a girl in my class called Helen Clarke whom I discovered the other day is still alive.

This surprises me because in the entire time I was at school with her, she was permanently ill - in fact so sick that at times, she was off for weeks at a time.

Now to me, she looked a picture of health and she took part in sports and dancing classes.

But when it came to sitting our GCSE (the UK equivalent to O-levels in Singapore) exams - the one week she was actually present every day - she got straight A's whereas I managed to sprinkle one lousy B among a mediocre bunch of Cs and Ds. I will come back to this.

So Spurs announced they are going to build a new 60,000-seater stadium.

Well, the timing of the announcement is either cocky (pardon the pun), brave or foolish - depending on which way you look at it.

You see, it could end up being the biggest stadium in the Coca Cola Championship!

Despite the Harry Redknapp effect, Tottenham are still stuck in the relegation zone.

Are you sure 60,000 are going to loyally attend that mouth-watering clash between Tottenham and Barnsley next weekend? No, I don't think so either.

Let me just set the record straight about a few things concerning stadium attendances.

Realities

Yes, of course Richard Scudamore, the chief executive of the Premier League, will tell you attendances season on season are going up and if you check the figures, he is correct but this hides some realities.

Last season, the Premier League's average attendance figure was 36,144 in comparison to 2005/06 which was 34,364.

What these figures fail to highlight is the fact that since the 2005/06 season, Arsenal have doubled their stadium capacity by moving to the Emirates and Manchester United have extended Old Trafford by 8,000 seats to 76,000 plus! All these are factors increase the overall average.

Which as I climb up onto my soap box brings me onto the following point - clubs with regularly less than a 90 per cent average attendance should be docked points and those with an average of 99 per cent plus attendance should be given an extra three points at the end of the season.

Blackburn, despite having a capacity at Ewood Park of 31,000, had only 17,000 fans turn up for the game against Boro. Dock them points!

And only 25,000 Boro fans turned up to watch Robinho and chums play at the 35,000-seater Riverside the other night. I mean that's relegation form!

If my points system was implemented solely on attendances, Derby would not have been relegated last season, they averaged 32,481 with a stadium capacity of 33,087. Phenomenal!

Now if this simple yet effective equation had been applied to the GCSE final-year attendances of both myself and Helen Clark, she would not now be sitting smugly behind an oak desk at a top law firm in the city of London and I on the other hand would be building rockets for NASA!

(By the way, the name of my classmate at school is fictional)

The writer is a presenter for the Football Channel.