By Elysa Chen

THE speculation was perhaps inevitable. Did he have too much alcohol at his wedding, and could that have contributed to his deadly fall?

Mr Leong Jun Wei was found dead outside Hilton Hotel, where he was spending his wedding night, at 3.30am on Wednesday.

The cause of his fall has yet to be determined.

His friends said he was a good drinker and had not drunk much that night.

Nonetheless, the speculation has thrown the spotlight on the practice of forcing grooms to binge drink at wedding dinners.

Dentist Bran Chan, 27, remembers what it did to him.

After registering their marriage on 8 Aug this year, Mr Chan and his bride left for the Amara Sanctuary Resort at Sentosa.

But he said he was so drunk, he woke up in the middle of the night to vomit.

Mr Chan, who admitted to being a "bad drinker", said: "It wasn't a romantic moment, I can tell you.

"But my wife was prepared because she saw how red my face was earlier, and she knew she would have to take care of me."

MrChan said he had drunk a few bottles of beer. "My friends kept making toasts. And I had to oblige them because it was a special occasion."

And it left him in a sorry state.

"It was quite horrible. My head was spinning, and my legs were weak," he said. "I can't really recall much about that night, but I spent some time vomiting at the sink."

It is not unusual for grooms to feel some pressure to drink at the wedding.

Dr Hoon Chang Yau, an assistant professor of Asian Studies at the Singapore Management University, feels the practice stems from the symbolic assertion of a man's masculinity.

He said: "The wedding night is traditionally a rite-of-passage after which a man can start taking the responsibility of continuing the family lineage. It is also seen as the night when a boy becomes a man, and makes the transition into adulthood."

Although the South-east Asian practice of shouting "Yum Seng" in wedding celebrations is not found in Chinese high culture, said Dr Hoon, rice wine was often served during celebrations in rural areas.

He said this practice was probably brought to Southeast Asia by early immigrants from the working class.

He said: "These days, serving alcohol at weddings is seen as a sign of a family's social status, as serving alcohol makes the celebration grander."

Anthropologist Maribeth Erb from the National University of Singapore said excessive drinking at wedding banquets is not unusual, as getting married is a life-changing ritual.

'Rite of passage'

She said: "When people go through what anthropologists call 'rites of passage' such as wedding rituals, they are in the mood for celebration, and are in a state where they would do things that they do not normally do.

"This is because they are involved in a transition from one stage of their life to another. In rituals such as these, often, normal rules are suspended and excessive behaviour of all kinds may take place."

Executive Seet Jiaxin, 25, who is planning to get married next year, said she would not ban alcohol at her wedding, neither will she stop her husband from drinking during the banquet.

She said: "It's less to do with the alcohol and more to do with reckless behaviour. Yes, your sense of balance goes when you're intoxicated, but it's too easy to blame the drink.

"People still have some self-control and are still aware of what's going on around them, even when they are drunk."

Ms Jenna Luen, 26, who served red wine during her wedding last month at her parents' request, said: "We were not intending to serve alcohol at first, but having a wedding banquet without alcohol is like having a birthday party without a birthday cake.

"Fortunately, our friends were very kind, and did not ask us to drink too much."

If, however, grooms need some help turning down their friends' offer of drinks, wedding planner Vernetta Lopez has some tips.

The director of Eternally Yours Wedding Planners said grooms can tell their guests they are allergic or are under medication, or can carry their own glasses, as a way of controlling the amount they drink.

Family and friends can also help, she said.

A family elder like the groom's father would be able to decline the drink on the groom's behalf, without offending the other party.

She said: "I've seen an entire entourage who knew that the groom could not drink. His best man, brothers, aunts and uncles were so protective, they brought him to the bridal suite and didn't allow anyone in."

These tips will come in helpful for Mr Chan, who will beholding his wedding banquet in June next year.

He said: "It was still a memorable night, but I'll keep away from alcohol for my banquet."

This article was first published in The New Paper.