Fifty Shades Of Grey is now the most-watched movie trailer this year.
Viewers are practically beside themselves with anticipation of the Valentine's Day release, which leads to the obvious question.
How lame are their sex lives?
Some 36.4 million eager clickers have watched the trailer, according to The New Paper last week, with comments such as "The movie looks as dirty as hell", "My heart is racing" and "I was only looking for a Dulux paint chart".
In the name of journalistic research, I lavished 2½ minutes of my time watching the trailer and have to concur that Fifty Shades promises to be the finest comedy since Dumb And Dumber.
Based on the clip, the gist of the plot appears to be that a woman goes to work for a businessman who is rather rich, but does not own a shirt.
He spends more time topless than an over-eager job interviewee at Hooters.
The woman finds his bare chest erotic and he seduces her - by explaining that he is, in fact, a pervert.
At this point, most women would reach for the can of mace. But our leading lady swoons, presumably because he has drugged her.
Our heroic pervert then opens a door to reveal a room that contains either some disturbing sado-masochistic equipment or Sylvester Stallone's gym.
The trailer ends with a final shot of the woman tied up, restricted, clearly uncomfortable, with no room to move, and with a sweaty, heavy-breathing man in close proximity.
If that is her fetish, then a trip on the MRT during rush hour would do the trick.
And that is the trailer - a submissive, subservient woman yielding to the demands of what seems to be a misogynistic man.