I AM a Sabahan first, then a Malaysian.
I've lived in Klang Valley longer than in Kota Kinabalu, but I don't consider myself as a Selangorian or a KLite.
You can take me out of Sabah but you can't take Sabah out of me. I'm not sure why. Is it the ngiu chap (beef noodle) I ate when growing up in Kota Kinabalu?
Is it because 90 per cent of my relatives live in Penampang (a Kadazandusun-dominated district near Kota Kinabalu)?
I don't even know the lyrics of the Selangor state anthem even though I've lived in Klang Valley for more than two decades. I know by heart Sabah Tanah Airku, the anthem of my homeland.
I'll get excited when El Hadji Diouf, the Senegal footballer, plays for Sabah. However, I wouldn't if Selangor were to sign him.
I don't even vote in Subang Jaya where I live and where my kid goes to school. I vote in Penampang.
I do love living in Klang Valley as it is more developed - the aisle of the supermarkets here is wider than those in Sabah and they have better steak selection - whereas Sabah can be like a third world country with its frequent "earth hour" (euphemism for blackout), schools without walls and gravel road "highways".
However, I see Klang Valley as a place where I work and Sabah as the place I will eventually return to when I retire.
Actually, what I am first depends on where I am. If I'm outside of Malaysia, I will be Malaysian first, then Sabahan.
What is a Malaysian? When I was packing my bags to study in Kalamazoo, Michigan, the United States in the early 1990s, I included items such as Lat cartoons, Sheila Majid and Headwind CDs, and photographs of iconic Malaysian sites. (I had to pack these items as when I studied overseas, it was before the age of Google.)
For me, these items defined me as a Malaysian. If Americans asked me what was Malaysia, I would let them read Lat cartoon books, listen to Sheila Majid and Headwind, and show a photograph of Mount Kinabalu.
Who I am (Kadazandusun, Sabahan, journalist, Golingai, Catholic or heterosexual) also depends on who I'm with.
For example, just say that I'm discussing the 16-year-old conversion case of a Christian in Kinarut, Sabah, on WhatsApp with Christians, I would be giving a perspective that might be different if there was a non-Christian in the group.
Depending on who is in the group, I might change my perspective that you might think I'm a hypocrite, schizophrenic or a politician.
Malaysia is a melting pot (a place where different ethnicities are melted together) and salad bowl (cultures juxtaposed - like salad ingredients - but do not merge into a single homogeneous culture).
Through my interaction with other ethnic groups in Malaysia such as Melanau, Murut and Malay, I absorb a little of their culture but my Kadazandusun culture remains.
I'm Kadazandusun first, then Malaysian. That's what makes me typically Malaysian.