Bleak for British bosses

La Liga sent a note to the English Premier League yesterday. The message was Spanish, but it sounded Italian.

British coaching sleeps with the fishes.

There's no call for it on the continent and little demand at home.

David Moyes' sacking at Real Sociedad on Monday was not a surprise.

He always came across as a stuffy, Scottish square peg in a Spanish round hole.

But his short stay in La Liga said so much about British football's ignorance and unwillingness to adapt.

On arriving at Sociedad a year ago, Moyes promised to repair his fractured reputation after his ill-fated stint at Manchester United.

He was going to learn the language, blend into the local landscape and become a social chameleon; i.e. do the things that every foreign manager does without fuss in the EPL (all 12 of them, but we'll get to that).

The Spanish lessons were jettisoned almost immediately.

Moyes hadn't really got beyond "que" and "por favour" when he gave up on the native tongue, which didn't help the tactical nuances in team talks.

Unbelievably, Moyes admitted that some of the Sociedad players had taken English lessons in a bid to fit in. That's Spanish players, learning English, at a La Liga club, in Basque country.

Take a moment to consider the hysteria if Man United's mavericks suddenly took Dutch classes to ingratiate themselves with Louis van Gaal.

GOING DUTCH

Even if the thought of Wayne Rooney wrapping his Scouse vowels around Dutch might be worth the cable TV subscription, the indignant outcry would be unbearable.

But Moyes' sacking is a timely reminder of the dominance of foreign coaches in the English Premier League and the increasing inability of British managers to make an impact, even at home.

Consider the passports of the men in the dugout. Taking the current EPL standings, the managers are, in order, Chilean, French, Italian, Dutch, Argentinian, Croatian, Dutch, English, Spanish, German, Spanish, Welsh, Welsh, English, Scottish, Portuguese, English, English, English and French.

Taken at face value, eight native coaches out of a possible 20 doesn't seem cause for crisis (even if nitpickers point out that only five are English), but the caveats come thick and fast.

Only one - Alan Pardew - is in the top half and his meteoric rise with Crystal Palace already has him earmarked to replace Roy Hodgson. The English Football Association is hardly overburdened with options.

Three English managers are in the bottom four, underlining the reluctance of bigger EPL clubs to gamble on a local face.

At Bournemouth, Eddie Howe's purist principles are racking up plaudits, but not points. The homegrown hero staying true to his attacking philosophy on a shoestring budget makes him an endearing anomaly, but not a unique one.

It's a heartwarming narrative borrowed from Garry Monk.

According to reports, the Swansea manager has one game to save his job.

While Sam Allardyce and Tony Pulis, at Sunderland and West Brom respectively, are still considered the dour disciplinarians to call when over-indulged footballers are tiptoeing towards relegation.

Reaching deep into their coaching bag of cliches, they pull out the spirit, determination and the usual British tripe so often smeared across dreadful games to cover their shortcomings.

As those deep-thinking polyglots on the continent rely on tactical insight to progress, Britain's finest wear hearts on rolled-up sleeves and leave no cliche unturned.

When Moyes turned up at Sociedad, the manager did likewise, vowing to add some British grit to their game, because La Liga clearly needed it. Obviously.

IMPROVE

This was a well-meaning coach who once tried to improve the greatest centre-back partnership in EPL history by making them watch old Everton videos. Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic were not amused.

It's hard to imagine the Spaniards being any more thrilled when they learnt of Moyes' intention to introduce a little British bulldog to the Real Sociedad mix.

The Scot did well to last a year.

His appointment was more than a clash of cultures. It was a clash of the past and the present. British coaching has been left behind by British football, betrayed by its own greedy, myopic league.

In La Liga, 17 of the 20 sides are managed by Spaniards. Serie A boasts the same figure for Italian coaches.

Even the Bundesliga has a healthier 11 out of 18, with two German-speaking Austrian managers ensuring there are 13 native speakers in the dugout. In England, the figure is a forlorn eight and it's likely to fall further.

Moyes always said he felt lonely in Spain, but Pardew might say the same in England.

He's the only English manager in the top half of the table.

This article was first published on November 11, 2015.
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