Hello, I have the new big iPhone

Hello, I have the new big iPhone

Apple has lost it, they said. It no longer knows how to innovate, they said. Every new iPhone would just have a better screen and faster processor, they said.

Well, Apple sure showed them.

The iPhone 6 which was launched last week has a better processor for sure, but the screen resolution is about the same as the iPhone 5s, so there. Take that, haters.

Of course, keeping the screen resolution roughly the same is not the earth-shattering innovation that prompted record numbers of people to go and queue outside Apple stores last week.

No, the big thing this year is size. Apple has unveiled the biggish 4.7-inch iPhone 6 and downright man-sized 5.5-inch iPhone 6 Plus.

Now, when I say man-sized, I am not suggesting that only men would be interested in such a large phone. I am merely pointing out that men have a long history of telling people that 5.5-inch objects are 6 Plus.

Still, there hasn't been an innovation this exciting in the Apple universe since last year, when it came up with the idea of gold phones.

Now, some of you haters may not realise why having a big iPhone is such a huge deal, given that large smartphones have been in the market for years, not to mention the fact that people have been bugging Apple to make one for a long time.

Let me explain it to you. You see, a large part of the appeal of owning the iPhone has nothing to do with technology. It has to do with letting you feel superior to people with lousier phones.

People with new iPhones have confessed that they sometimes walk into meetings feeling more confident. And they get a real kick from sitting down and slapping (gently) their new phone on the table knowing that there will be people looking on enviously.

This used to be a fairly straightforward affair because nearly every one had phones that were lousier than an iPhone. You could be confident that you would get massive bragging rights as long as you were walking around with a new iPhone within the first month or so of the launch.

These days, there are people with flagship Android phones, who for some strange reason nobody will ever understand, do not hold the same respect for owners of new iPhones. So all your new iPhone owner has left is the feeling of superiority over people with older iPhones.

Even then, this is not as simple as it was before. You see the past four models, the 4, 4S, 5 and 5S all looked roughly the same. (The 5C looked different but then, it was considered a budget model.) People had to be paying very close attention to notice the differences, especially if the phone was in a protective case.

So, someone feeling good about himself would walk into a meeting, whip out his phone (gently), sit back and realise nobody said anything. People just weren't sure whether he had a new phone and therefore couldn't figure out how much respect they should accord this person.

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