PUBLISHED ONSeptember 24, 2021 3:00 AMByKwok Kar PengShane Pow's drink driving case is one of the most shocking events to hit local showbiz this year. On July 14, the 30-year-old actor was sentenced to five weeks' jail, a fine of $6,000, and a five-year driving ban for what was his second conviction.
Prior to his sentencing, Mediacorp had already cancelled their contract with him. The broadcaster said in a statement then that they had not been aware of his drink driving charge prior to the media reports.
At the time of his dismissal, Shane had filmed 30 out of 130 episodes of the Chinese drama The Heartland Hero, and his role was subsequently handed over to actor James Seah.
While Shane has been doing sales livestreams on Mdada's platforms, he has otherwise kept a low profile, even on social media.
AsiaOne sat down for an exclusive video interview with Shane, where he talked about his emotions at the courtroom when his sentence was passed; what his time in prison was like; how the entire incident changed him; and signing with LNX Global, the talent management agency founded by veteran actor Li Nanxing.
Some of Shane's replies have been edited for clarity and brevity.
AsiaOne: Let's start with a broad lookback — how would you describe this entire experience?
Shane: I would say that it's life-changing and a turning point for me. I've definitely hit the lowest I've ever been. So in terms of my perspectives in life and some of the values and the way I see things right now, it's very different.
I mean, I don't wish this upon anybody. But once you hit that low in your life, you look back and think about the stuff that you could have, I could have, done to not let it happen. My career was going pretty good before that. It was on an upward trajectory, and I felt like turning 31 this year was a good career hit for me. And then bam, [I hit] rock bottom, so it was pretty tough.
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A: The entire incident dragged over a few months. At which point did it dawn on you that you were in serious trouble?
S: When it happened, I already knew that this was serious. The bail got extended and we got dragged out, so for a few months, it was a huge load on my chest. It was like a time bomb that was going to explode but I didn't know when, so that was a pretty intense period for me.
I had work going on (filming The Heartland Hero) and everything, so I still had to carry on like everything was okay. And I didn't really tell people [about it] also. I think I was living under a lot of pressure and stress during that period. I didn't use to have white hair but when I was filming, [people] told me I had a few. And I was like, "Oh, I didn't realise this was causing me so much stress."
I knew that it was going to come eventually, and I was getting prepared for it. I made a huge mistake, and I have to suffer the consequences. But you know, getting yourself ready and actually facing it and serving it and having to almost lose everything that [I had] built for almost the last 10 years was quite tough.
A: What went through your mind when the sentence was passed?
S: I was having mixed emotions. I went that day prepared to serve my time. I was getting myself prepared, but I don't think you can ever be prepared for stuff like that. As much as I told myself that it was going to be okay and it was just for a while, when I was standing there waiting for judgement, I could literally hear my heartbeat. I haven't felt this tense in a long time.
I had a rough gauge of how long the sentence would be. As much as I kept reassuring my parents and myself, when the time came and my entire fate rested in the hands of the judge, that was pretty scary.
There were so many emotions and regrets, thinking about how I actually landed myself there and why. When I was waiting for them to change me out of my clothes and take away my freedom, and getting cut off from the entire world, that was pretty tough.
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A: How did your parents feel and what did you tell them?
S: They were of course sad, and I felt really bad that I put my parents through this, especially my mum. So I tried my best to reassure her that it was going to be okay, it was just going to be a few weeks, and Singapore is a good country, right? Everything inside should be fine, and the welfare should be okay. I was pretty sure that people in there were not going to be very nasty towards me.
But there were still concerns that a mum would have. I'm pretty sure she went through the same or even more than what I did, because she had no idea what I was doing and if I was okay. I felt really guilty and just stupid. And the truth is, there's no one to blame but myself. I made a mistake that I should never have, and I didn't make the right choice. When I was in there, I just hoped that they were doing okay because I couldn't talk to them.
Time passed so slowly and I lost track of time. Outside, you feel like everything is moving so fast. But inside, every second was really crawling. There was more of a build-up of emotions and stress. All I could do was imagine how everyone was doing outside.
A: You said time moved slowly inside prison. How did you spend your time?
S: I read a lot, about 16 books, both in English and Mandarin. We didn't get to choose so whatever books they had, I just read. Basically, it was a lot of time alone to myself with no distractions. I was in isolation for 21 days, so I didn't have anyone to talk to. It was just me, myself, and my thoughts.
I tried to read to pass the time and I tried to read slower so that I had things to do. When you don't have a clock, everything just seems to slow down. The night seemed ridiculously long. We had our dinner pretty early, like 5pm, but usually when I'm outside, my dinner time is around 7 or 8pm.
So from the time I had dinner to the time I sleep, that period feels like another day on its own because it was still too bright to sleep. This is what I meant by time really crawling and there was nothing you can do but just sit and reflect.
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A: Why were you in isolation?
S: Covid-19. It was supposed to be 14 days but they had an outbreak so it became 21 days. I'm glad I had time alone but too much of it was like… I think halfway through, it was driving me a bit nuts already. I think [my mood] kind of fluctuated, the high and the low, and then sometimes I was okay. I was quite lucky the few books I had were quite interesting, but when I finished the book or when I got tired of reading, I tried to do other stuff but there was nothing to do. That's when you hit another low, and you start to think about 'why'. It's like a roller coaster of emotions repeated throughout the duration that I was inside.
A: Did you reach any major realisations of yourself and your life?
S: I'm very happy-go-lucky, most of my friends would say I'm easygoing. With this easygoing character trait, I think it kind of affected and led up to the mistake that I made because I didn't put much thought into it. It was not like a calculated risk that night. It was not like, "I'm not gonna get caught, just do it." I mean, that itself is wrong. My action is totally wrong. But it was more of a mindless risk that I didn't even have to take.
Now, and especially with the things I do, I try to be more aware and mindful. I like the new version of me now. I'm not saying, I went inside, came out and I'm like a saint.
But you realise some small things about yourself that you don't normally see because you're either too busy with work or your family. When you really sit down and think like I did, there were so many things that could have prevented it.
For convenience's sake, I drove for dinner that night. And at what cost? My career, gone. I'm glad nothing happened to my mum. But what if she couldn't take the news and she had a stroke or something? I could never live with myself. What if I hit somebody when I was driving? There are so many what-ifs that could have been prevented if I actually had been more mindful.
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A: Did you join the other inmates after 21 days of isolation?
S: After the 21 days, I was shifted to a temporary holding for a day, and then for the last three days, I was with seven other inmates. I had kind of gotten used to not talking to people but I was glad that I had people to talk to and share. They were really nice people. I was glad they made my last three days slightly bearable. I was able to distract myself a bit. The sharing of the toilet was not ideal but I felt I was getting ready to get back out again. I was able to unload a bit of whatever I was feeling to these people that I met who also happened to make mistakes.
A: How were they nice to you?
S: My news was quite big at that time, so everybody was waiting to see who would be cellmates with me. I was lucky because they were very welcoming.
One of the most touching things was, we have yard time once a day where we came out for one hour and mixed with everybody from different cells. And the first thing they asked me was, "Are you comfortable with that? You just stick close to us, we'll cover you. What if people come up to you? Should we stop them?" So I felt very touched, I barely know these people but they cared enough to ask how I was feeling.
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A: It has been some time since you came out. How are you now?
S: Much better. I stayed home for a good one or two weeks [after getting out]. I'm very thankful for my friends that showed me support and texted me, and people that I don't know and fans, just kind people that sent me a lot of encouragement on social media. But I was overwhelmed because my phone was literally exploding. My notifications for WhatsApp literally hit 999+ on the screen and also on Instagram.
It took me one to two weeks to start replying people. I wasn't in the right state of mind to deal with it, even though they are my friends, they're very nice, and they just wanted to send their regards to me. But I couldn't deal with it until I was ready. I wanted to mean it when I say "thank you".
I read through all the messages even on social media. I couldn't reply everyone but I was very touched by the support that I received. There was quite a bit of backlash and I accepted it, it was my mistake and I have to deal with it. But the support I got was what really made the whole transition a lot better.
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A: What are your plans for the near future?
S: I definitely hope that I'll get back to acting, that's really one of my passions in life. I've been doing it for a while and I really enjoy every single moment of it. Now that I have signed with LNX Global, I'm sure they have something good planned for me. Nothing's concrete now but I have confidence that if I return, when I do return, I'll make sure that it's something that, when people see it, they'll feel like I didn't let myself go and let them down. I just want to prove to myself again that I can still do this. I don't want it to be the end.
A: Why did you decide to sign with LNX Global?
S: When the opportunity came and I spoke to LNX Global, we talked about stuff, and we felt like there was a plan. There was a way moving forward. And I just felt like, sometimes opportunities don't come knocking easily and when it's time to take the risk, and now this is a calculated risk — not like the stupid risks that I used to take — because there's actual planning.
We are very much in line with what we feel and what we want moving forward, career-wise. I was going to trust my gut a bit more after this whole thing… so my gut feeling tells me that this is a good step.
kwokkarpeng@asiaone.com