Felicia Chin slapped on first day of Primary 1 and she didn't know what she did wrong

Spare the rod, spoil the child. But what if the rod leaves a mark instead?

For local actress Felicia Chin, the memory of being slapped on the first day of Primary One still haunts her and it has even contributed to a rather unhealthy obsession with perfectionism.

In a recent episode of the R U Okay? podcast with Jean Danker, 37-year-old Felicia confessed that she is afraid to make mistakes and has attributed the origin of that fear to a particular point in her life.

She said: "If I can't do 100 upon 100, I'll feel like I'm not good enough... and I just realised why... I recounted back when I was a primary school kid, I remember that on my very first day of school, I was slapped by my teacher.

"Back then, this was still acceptable."

It was also pretty intense as the teacher "pulled [my] cheek the furthest she could go" before slapping her.

When Jean asked what happened, Felicia replied: "I can't remember what happened but I thought there's only so much you can do as a Primary One kid, like a scared little kid.

"And I think that kind of scarred me — I'm afraid of making mistakes. To me, if you make mistakes, [it] equals to pain, equals to punishment."

[[nid:520926]]

This translated to her studies as well, she confessed.

Her teacher segregated the class into two groups — "Apple" and "Orange" — with the latter being made up of students at the bottom of the class.

So, Felicia worked really hard to get into the "Apple" group.

She said: "I realised that looking back right, that affected me... I think it affected the way I viewed things or lived as an adult growing up."

bryanlim@asiaone.com