15 simple positions to help ease painful sex after giving birth

After giving birth, new mums often experience certain issues when it comes to resuming intimacy. Some struggle with low libido, while others encounter difficulties in enjoying intercourse. Vaginal dryness, slow healing of stitches, and trauma to the pelvic wall are some of the common postpartum complaints that can lead to painful sex.

Postpartum sex: How does it feel like?

Even if your pregnancy, labour and delivery went without a hitch, your body needs time to repair because you just brought a new life into the world. The numerous discomforts associated with sex might also be attributed to low oestrogen levels after pregnancy and during lactation.

Every woman has a unique set of postpartum sex experiences, which are many. However, you might encounter:

• Pain or discomfort in the vagina
• Vaginal dryness
• Discharge
• Nipple pain and discomfort in the breasts
• Overall achiness and backaches
• Joint ache
• Pain or numbness around the incision (if you've had a C-section)

These discomforts are typically only short-lived for women, and as your body heals, you should start to feel more like yourself. But if you have any symptoms that worry you, especially if you have painful sex that doesn't get better, bleeding after sex, or pass very large blood clots, let your doctor know.

After having birth, it's also quite common (and understandable) to feel worn out, overburdened, or have low libido. If you find that you're not ready for sex as soon as you thought you may be, be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to wait or proceed gently.

How long after giving Birth can I have sex?

Although the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (ACOG) states that there is no defined period of time after childbirth when a woman can begin having sex, many doctors advise delaying it for four to six weeks.

Whatever method you used to give delivery, your body is healing now:

• If you had a vaginal birth, you might have suffered an episiotomy or a perineal tear that is currently mending. If so, having sex less than four weeks after giving birth could make you vulnerable to a vaginal infection.
• If you had a C-section, the same postpartum sex advice still holds true, but recovery may be a little slower for many mothers. After the treatment, your doctor might advise waiting at least four weeks before starting up your sexual life again. It is especially crucial to seek your doctor's approval during your postpartum appointment because your incision takes time to heal.

You can feel that it takes longer than six weeks to feel comfortable having sex again because every woman is different. There are a few things to think about, though, if you want to get back in bed sooner.

First, while waiting longer gives your body time to heal, the risk of developing a problem after birth is highest in the first two weeks. Additionally, you need to receive approval from your doctor, who you’ll probably visit for your first postpartum appointment three weeks after giving birth (and again around the 12-week mark). Before you start having sex again, they'll want to make sure any postpartum bleeding has ceased.

The final word? There is no set guideline, and as long as your practitioner has given the go-ahead, you can start having sex again whenever you feel ready and secure.

Best sex positions to try after giving birth

Unless your doctor advises against it, most mums can start having sex again as early as a month after having a vaginal delivery. For post-CS mums, the wait may be longer.

Here are simple positions to lessen pain during postpartum sex.

1. Spooning

This simple position involves lying with your partner hugging you from behind. This position is ideal for shallow penetration, lessening too much deep pressure and making sex more enjoyable.

2. Standing, shower sex

They say shower sex isn't for everyone, and it's not as sexy as it looks in TV or movies, but it can actually be helpful to couples who've just had a baby.

Make sure the shower water is warm, for maximum relaxation and lubrication. Some experts recommend assuming the 'doggie-style' position, but Romper says mixing it up is fine.

3. CAT (Coital Alignment Technique)

This version of the classic missionary position puts focus on the woman's clitoris. Men's Health says this position isn't about thrusting too much. After penetration, you must keep your legs together, while your partner keeps his leg apart. Though it allows for shallow penetration, the sensation is just as satisfying.

4. Woman on top

Assuming this sex position postpartum helps you control the pace and depth of penetration. It also lessens the pressure placed on your pelvis, making sex less painful and more enjoyable.

5. Sideways 69

This variation of the classic 69 position involves lying side-to-side and performing oral sex on one another with care. This lessens pressure and doesn't force you to exert too much energy.

6. Missionary with pillow support

This may be the most popular choice for couples because it involves the classic missionary. The only difference is that your hips are raised and propped up by pillows, depending on your comfort level.

Other postpartum sex positions you can try

7. Chair sex

This position allows for the woman to be on top and rock back and forth without putting pressure on the perineum or incision. The position is considered safer for those who've had a C-section or don't feel totally back to normal to avoid uncomfortableness or soreness.

8. Doggy pillow

Doggy pillows are a more safer postpartum alternative for people who prefer the doggy position. Use pillows as support under your stomach while in the 'doggy' posture to relieve strain on the scar site since some women may feel a pinching sensation in their scar tissue during postpartum sex.

You won't be under as much stress or strain because you won't be raising yourself up, but rather using pillows for support. Additionally, it gives you a little more control over the depth of penetration and the freedom to move if something is bothersome.

9. The can opener

You take the super-cool can opener jump into the water by lying flat on your back with one leg straight down and the other bent and tucked under the arm of your partner. They grab your leg as they enter on their knees. They handle all the work, so there is less strain on you, and you can just relax and enjoy. It's simple to reach down and stroke yourself as well if you're feeling it.

10. The ease-in

Getting a downward angle is crucial. It aids in reducing any bladder discomfort or pressure brought on by pelvic organ prolapse that a woman can have. Women who are in this position will naturally have more relaxed pelvic-floor muscles, which will help them have amazing orgasms.

11. Hot cross buns

Lie on the couch (lying on the couch is usually a good start post-baby-or anytime, really), and prop your butt up on the couch arm using a slope of extra-firm pillows that have been placed to create a ramp-like effect. As they step within, your spouse grabs hold of your legs and uses a scissor-like motion to cross and uncross them while thrusting for a little additional power.

12. The rocker

You'll be itching to be taken care of yourself after spending so much time with a kid. A spoon position will allow you to relax and just be cared for for a few wonderful minutes while you are in the foetal position. Additionally, your lover can reach around and enjoy your extra-bountiful post-birthin' boobs while avoiding post-C-section belly contact and shallow penetration.

13. Frisky flip

Try rolling over and resting flat on your stomach if you find that being on top is uncomfortable. With your partner unable to penetrate too deeply, you can relax into penetration in this low energy rear entry position.

14. Lazy sex

Try 'lazy sex' if spooning feels satisfying but you want to switch things up. Lie in a 'L' shape with your partner, with you on your back and he on his side. This requires no effort and gives you both access to your clitoris.

15. Lip service

Speaking of your clitoris, cunnilingus (also known as oral sex) is always an excellent alternative because you don’t have to worry about penetration whether you are reclining back or leaning towards the headboard.

Postpartum Sex Pain

Some new mothers discover that the discomfort of postpartum sex is transient; yet, it is nothing that a little additional lubricant and some inventive positioning can’t temporarily dull. Others, particularly those who had a substantial tear to heal from, however, may have tremendous discomfort that lasts for a shockingly long time.

Speak with your practitioner if having sex after having a baby is more painful than enjoyable. Before sexual activity, they might advise taking an over-the-counter pain treatment such as acetaminophen (Tylenol) or ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin).

Breastfeeding suppresses oestrogen levels, which can cause vaginal dryness and loss of suppleness. While you are nursing, applying a topical oestrogen lotion inside the vagina can be beneficial. If you're unsure about trying it, consult your doctor.

In the event that there is another cause for the discomfort, such as scar tissue at the location of your rip or potentially a repair that was too tightly stitched, your doctor may also advise making an appointment for a full check. Another potential cause could be an infection, such as yeast.

Maintaining a daily Kegel routine will help you continue strengthening your pelvic floor, and if further assistance is required, your practitioner may recommend you to a pelvic floor therapist.

Try to unwind before having sex, even if it’s difficult. Even a brief period of meditation or a quick neck rub from your spouse can help you forget about the agony before it begins.

How to make sex less painful after birth?

There are a few things you may attempt to lessen any discomfort you might feel from postpartum sex once you’ve determined you’re ready to get back in the game. Talk to your partner in advance about any anxiety you may be experiencing. To make this an enjoyable experience, you will need their co-operation and tolerance.

Pain management at home.

You might wish to take some over-the-counter painkillers before having sex if you were taking them to treat any postpartum pain. A warm bath might also assist your body to relax before the event. You can apply ice wrapped in a towel to the area to help ease the discomfort if the pain and burning occur after having sex.

Use lubricant

Your hormones are partly at blame for uncomfortable sex. Your hormone swings are frequently to blame for the alterations in your body. Some women who encounter this during the postpartum period report experiencing increased vaginal soreness and dryness. To combat this dryness and potentially lessen the discomfort of intercourse, lubricant can be used.

Experiment

If you are experiencing pain from penetration, don’t be scared to try oral or manual stimulation. Who knows, you might discover that doing it this manner results in better orgasms and increased enjoyment.

Take it slow.

The time is not right for passionate or combative sex. Slow and steady wins the race, just like it does with most things throughout the postpartum period. Spend some time getting to know one another and having some foreplay. Before moving toward penetration, give your body a moment to unwind. It could take longer for you to become aroused if you're under pressure or concerned.

Practice doing Kegels

You still need to perform Kegels at every stoplight even if you aren't pregnant any longer. It's crucial to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles after giving birth. Additionally, having a tighter region makes postpartum sex more enjoyable.

Perineal Massage: Your vagina and anus can be massaged to increase the mobility of scar tissue. Perineal massage is a worthwhile choice if you have pain during postpartum intercourse near the vaginal opening.

Experimentation: For every relationship, pleasurable postpartum sex looks different. Do not feel pressured to carry on with your old habits if you are no longer enthusiastic about your previous roles or sexual activities. Massage, oral sex, and mutual masturbation are sensual ways to bond with your spouse without being pounded.

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Make yourself comfortable.

Spend money on postpartum sex aids like a firm cushion that helps relieve pressure spots and make you more comfortable in particular positions.

Assume the position.

Find comfortable positions, while we're on the subject. For your initial few efforts, woman on top or side-to-side may be easier because these positions relieve pressure on delicate places and provide you control over the depth of penetration if you're engaging in penetrative sex. And move at a comfortable, moderate pace.

Get creative with positions

The reasoning goes something like this: don't do anything if it hurts. There are many different approaches one can take to have sex. Try a different position if your default one is hurting you. Before you locate the one that relieves any pressure while still allowing you to adjust the depth of penetration and provides you with the pleasure you require, you may need to try a few.

It's important not to rush things! Remember to lubricate, warm up, be honest if you need more foreplay than usual, and open up to your partner about your fears and insecurities.

This article was first published in theAsianparent.