Authoritarian parenting: Is it good or bad?

Have you heard of the term authoritarian parenting? Do you know anyone who still subscribes to this rigid parenting style?

Your parenting style can influence all areas of your child’s life. That’s why it’s so important to ensure that your parenting style promotes healthy growth and development since how you connect with your child and how you discipline him will have an impact on him for the rest of his life.

If you are the type of parent who believes that children should be seen rather than heard, or you always say “my way or the highway” when it comes to rules, you may be an authoritarian parent. Authoritarian parents believe that their children should always follow the rules.

What is authoritarian parenting?

Authoritarian parenting is a harsh parenting approach. It lays enormous expectations on kids who are unresponsive. As an authoritarian parent, you prioritise compliance, punishment, and control over nurturing your child. Mistakes are frequently punished brutally, and criticism is frequently unfavourable.

Physical punishment and yelling are also common. Authoritarian parents chastise their children for their mistakes while ignoring their accomplishments. They anticipate that the child will not make mistakes and will obey them. Their offspring, on the other hand, are usually good at obeying rules.

Authoritarian parenting examples

Here are a few examples of how authoritarian parents might approach everyday circumstances.

• Screen time: Authoritarian parents are more inclined to severely limit or completely prohibit their children’s screen time.
• Playdates: Children raised by authoritarian parents are more likely to have a clear knowledge of what must be done before going out to play with friends, and they are aware that failure to do so would result in penalties.
• Food and treats: Authoritarian parents are more prone to believe in the notion of “eat or go hungry” when it comes to meals.
• Conversation: Authoritarian parents do not encourage verbal give-and-take and discourage their children to talk back at them, calling them disrespectful if they do so. And they do not usually attempt to explain the reasons for the rules.

Why is authoritarian parenting bad?

A number of child outcomes, including social skills and academic achievement, have been linked to parenting approaches. Authoritarian parenting has more bad than favourable results. Some of the negative consequences are as follows:

• Lack of self-esteem

While rewarding good behaviour helps to reinforce discipline, criticising the youngster causes them to doubt their own worth and potential. Failure to recognise a child’s accomplishments may also contribute to low self-esteem.

• Difficulty in social situations as a result of a lack of social skills

It is critical for children to develop social skills while they are young. If your child does not have time to socialise, they may find it challenging to relate to others even as adults.

• Children may act aggressively outside the home

Harshness, physical punishment, and exerting too much control over youngsters result in poor conduct. Punishment is ineffective when compared to discipline. Violent behaviour is always incited by violence.

• They are incapable of failing

Children are under pressure to perform when it is made obvious that they must always get it perfect. If your child’s behaviour is motivated by a desire to escape punishment at any cost, you may need to alter your parenting style. This makes them dread failure rather than viewing it as an opportunity to learn and develop.

• Your child effortlessly conforms but also suffers from worry

When a youngster does not accomplish what you want them to do, they frequently become angry, irritated, and noisy. In children, this type of conduct causes worry.

Authoritative vs authoritarian parenting

In both authoritarian and authoritative parenting, it is the parents’ responsibility to set limits and enforce norms. The distinction is in how this is performed.

Attitude of parents

Authoritarian parenting is chilly and insensitive. When their child is struggling, parents treat emotion as a weakness and turn to punishment or criticism.

Authoritative parents, on the other hand, are friendly and approachable. They can build positive attachments with their children by approaching them in this manner. This is frequently connected with higher levels of assurance.

Authoritative parenting is exercising control over your own emotions in order to prevent conflict from escalating. Rather than reprimanding youngsters for inappropriate behaviour, parents should initiate calm and constructive talks. According to studies, children who grow up in a supportive atmosphere are happier and display more good behaviours.

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Rules

In one aspect, authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles are comparable. They both have high standards and rigorous guidelines. The distinction is in rule enforcement.

Authoritarian parents forbid their children from asking questions. They expect children to obey rules while remaining silent. This attitude frequently produces anxiety and insecurity in youngsters. When regulations are not completely explicit, it can also lead to misunderstandings.

Authoritative parenting is characterised by a loving and nurturing approach. Parents explain regulations in detail and provide explanations for them. If a youngster does not understand or agree, authoritative parenting encourages them to ask questions. As a result, children learn to think critically, communicate well, and feel included.

Discipline

Authoritative parenting entails a wide range of repercussions, such as computer limits or limited activities. Authoritarian parenting frequently employs degrading or harsh punishment. Parents have more power over their children, but they are less adept at following through.

On the other side, authoritative parents frequently set higher expectations. When it comes to discipline, they are more consistent. They employ inductive discipline, which promotes prosocial conduct and empathy in their child.

Communication

Parents who adopt an authoritarian approach frequently lose control of their emotions. To maintain order and control, they may resort to yelling, name-calling, or scolding. Communication is one-way, with the parent speaking and the child remaining silent.

Authoritative parents frequently suppress their emotions. They see every situation as an opportunity to learn. These parents promote open communication, which makes their children feel supported and included.

Control

Authoritarian parents attempt to exert excessive control or micromanage their children. Controlling conduct is frequently insufficient. To feel confident in their parental role, they must also have emotional control.

This parenting style is similar to a dictatorship in that it is based on fear. It is just one way. Whatever the parent says is correct and should be followed without question or complaint.

This differs from authoritative parenting, in which norms are maintained but children are allowed to make their own decisions and mistakes. The ultimate goal is not to control. Parents emphasise independence and the ability to self-regulate, only correcting when required

There are many different styles of parenting, but that doesn’t mean that you have to choose only one. Some aspects of each style might be right for your family, so research the different styles to come up with your own approach to parenting that works best for you and your child.

Remember, though, that relying on physical punishment and yelling as your main ways to try and change your child’s behaviour has been associated with more behaviour problems as time goes on.

This article was first published in theAsianparent.