Friendship over: Why we can't help abandoning friends after marriage

The joys and struggles of marriage sometimes make us forget the lives we lived before saying "I do". Because of this, most of us find ourselves abandoning friends after marriage.

Marriage opens the door to new relationships. However, this transition may imply leaving a lot behind. In truth, research shows that people who get married become less involved with their friends and relatives.

Moreover, marriage requires you to be in sync with your partner, especially when it comes to friendship matters. Couples often talk about the kind of company that each partner keeps and could disapprove of them sometimes.

There is a vast percentage of certainty that your life will change forever after marriage. A considerable part of your life will change, including your priorities in life.

Your life will most likely revolve around your family. All these changes might impact your relationship with your friends.

Single vs married life

Study shows that when people enter the commitment of having lifetime partners, their relationship with other people changes. They become less involved and connected with their family and friends.

Meanwhile, singles are more inclined to communicate with their parents, siblings, and friends. Aside from that, they are likely to receive emotional support from their loved ones. Singles receive practical assistance or help from others.

Greedy marriage

There is a particular phenomenon where people label some marriages as greedy marriages. It happens to married individuals who spend most of their time with their spouses.

On the other hand, single people maintain a richer and more diverse social life. A large number of studies back this claim. However, many studies only look at a single point in time.

Some claim that married people are more likely to neglect their friends and family. On the other hand, some claims say that single people who neglect their contemporaries are more likely to marry.

Proof that we tend to cut off friendships once we walk down the aisle

The National Survey of Families and Households, conducted in the US, asked participants to describe the quality of their relationships with their friends and family.

Over six years, they also asked about the frequency of married individuals' meetings with their friends.

The finding shows that those who remained single spent more time with their friends and partners.

Regardless of the length of the relationship, those cohabiting with their partners experienced the same withdrawal from friends, family, contemporaries, and neighbours.

The study only shows that social distance is not always a one-time occurrence at the start of a relationship.

As a result, single people also have a more diverse set of confidants than married couples.

READ ALSO: 6 ways to make friends in your 30s

Benefits of staying single 

Singles have better networks and are less prone to feel isolated than married individuals. It is because they have a more significant number of people with whom they may confide.

Furthermore, singles are relatively happier not only because married individuals devote less time to their friends and family. It is because singles are more attentive to these relationships.

They are likely to involve their siblings in their lives and cultivate relationships that raise their overall levels of happiness. Singles build social networks for themselves and contribute to a community.

As a result, singles, particularly women, have more diverse social networks. They are reported to have equal or higher levels of life fulfilment and satisfaction compared to their partnered peers.

6 effective ways to not lose friends after marriage

We usually consider our friends as our second family. They are people who can also offer us love, support, and encouragement.

Marriage and friendship are so connected. Here are some ways to keep your friendships going even after your wedding:

Identify friends

Determine who you can rely on and make every effort to keep them in your life.

Reliable companions may add a lot of positivity to your life while also assisting you in your personal development.

Draw limits

It is essential to let your friends know that they are still an integral part of your life.

However, it could be better to set some limits to the level of commitment that you can offer. It is good to let them know that your priorities have changed after marriage.

Make time

Availability of time is critical to maintaining any relationship.

To have long-lasting friendships, you must try to keep in contact and make time for your friends.

Share and listen

You might have a lot of new experiences to share with your friends after you get married.

However, remember that once you are done sharing yours, have the patience to listen to your friends.

Create a balance

Make sure you get the support you need not only from your friends but also from your spouse.

Simultaneously, be supportive of your husband. This will strengthen your relationship with your partner.

New friends

It is a good thing to maintain an old friendship. You may have to let go of certain people at times to make way for new ones.

Don't be disheartened if you lose pals after marriage; new friends can always be found.

Furthermore, while marriage is a full-time job, you should still make time for your friends.

Keep in mind that taking time to socialise with friends is essential for emotional well-being.

This article was first published in theAsianparent.