Here's how to manage your child's tantrums, according to experts

Managing a child’s tantrums may get really stressful. While tantrums are completely normal among young kids as this is their way of coping with frustration, it is still useful to have a way to manage them.

According to Huffpost, a team of researchers from Yale may have found the solution on how to manage toddlers tantrums.

From their pilot study, their findings on a virtual programme have been proven to limit distributive behaviour and even reduce overall irritability among kids.

An online 'tantrum tool'

The study involved the participation of 15 families with children aged 3 to 9 years old who had either oppositional defiance disorder or disruptive mood dysregulation disorder. 

These are psychiatric disorders that are known to be associated with anger outbursts and irritability. However, the Yale News website said only 12 of the families got to complete the full treatment.

Researchers found that their online "tantrum tool" was effective in reducing pediatric irritability and disruptive behaviours of children.

This programme includes a sequence of eight modules that had short animated videos made by experts to show ways in which parents could identify the key triggers of tantrums and how to handle them. 

This model was said to be based on "parent management training" that has actually been around for decades but has yet to be easily accessed by parents. This is why this programme by Yale experts will be more inclusive and accessible for parents.

Is your child’s tantrum 'normal' or something else?

All young kids have tantrums every now and then. But how would you recognise which ones are 'normal' or going out of line? 

Denis Sukhodolsky, an associate professor of the Yale Child Study Center, said that parents should observe whether their child are having tantrums more frequently or more intensely than usual.

He said they should also see if it takes their child a particularly long time to calm down. 

He added that if the child’s tantrums last longer than five to 15 minutes, this could be a sign that it’s something more serious than you thought. 

It may also be a problem if your child has meltdowns daily but is able to calm down on their own and move on without much impact or interference.

How to deal with tantrums

While the programme may be successful, it is not available for every parent just yet. That is why experts have additional advice for parents struggling with tantrums among their kids. 

Praise children when they behave

When your child behaves well or calms down after a tantrum, it’s important that you praise them for it. Say something like 'Nice job in staying quiet.' Or maybe 'Good job in calming down.'

This way you can let them know that overcoming a tantrum is an accomplishment. 

Give your child time to learn and develop

Every child grows up and learns over time. Experts say that it takes time to master the skill of tolerating frustration.

That is why it is also important that you give your child room to grow and master these skills. 

Stay calm

The key to handling tantrums is to stay calm. Easier said than done, right?

But whenever your child throws a tantrum, it’s important that you model an appropriate stress management reaction instead of blowing up yourself, too.

Just take a deep breath and remember that you are a parent and acknowledge when the tantrum is over. 

This article was first published in theAsianparent.