'I practise self-love by hiring a male escort'

Engaging an escort can mean different things to different people, but whether it’s sex, sexual variety or companionship, it undeniably caters to an unmet need. One woman in Singapore tells us why she prefers being in the company of her regular escort over that of a boyfriend, and how she sees using his service as a way of doing herself good.

Three years ago, Erica* hired regional escort Raoul Rossetti to help her move on from a breakup after a five-year relationship. The 32-year-old has come to enjoy the transaction so much that she now prefers engaging his services over dating and, much as she might currently be in her prime, doesn’t intend to put herself back on the market anytime soon.

“I prefer an escort because I don’t have to compromise—dating requires time and effort and my work schedule is hectic. In my previous relationship, I had to divide my energy and sacrifice personal time and I didn’t do anything for myself during the last two years,” she explains.

It helps that the sex is great. In fact, it’s “totally different” from what she experienced in her previous relationship.

It’s all about meeting her needs—and not just those between the sheets

However, to Erica, sex is just a part of the package.

“In my opinion, women don’t hire male escorts just for sex. The conversations must be good, and the time together, fun. I’m not naive enough to say I’m loved by Raoul, but in indulging in the full experience I’d say I show self-love by hiring him.”

But sex is not always on the agenda. Sometimes, she just wants to spend time with him because he makes her feel “good and safe”. Aside from doing things with her or being her plus-one at events, he also accompanies her on weekend getaways and long holidays.

Given their sexual and emotional intimacy, jealousy was something she struggled with whenever he spent time with his other clients. But she has since overcome it with his help.

“Raoul is a professional, so he knew how to guide me to acknowledge that no matter how good our connection, our relationship is still that of a service provider and client.”

They do regular things, just like any other couple

According to Erica, Raoul’s rates are around USD1,000 a day. It is thanks to “a job with good pay” and a “wealthy family background” that she’s able to see him regularly and yes, she pays for just about everything.

“If it’s for a weekend getaway and he’s meeting me at a nearby destination, he usually pays for the flight. But if it’s a long flight like the one we took to Japan, I’ll cover it. I cover all accommodations, food and shopping.”

And they don’t actually get up to anything particularly special: they do what any two people would when hanging out.

“We’re both gym freaks and have similar taste in coffee and food, so we spend a lot of time working out and checking out restaurants. We also chill by the pool or beach, check out a movie or share a romantic dinner.”

Because they’re close in age, they are also able to converse about a wide range of topics.

“I can talk to Raoul about anything and he share his personal issues with me sometimes too. Generally, we talk like friends but behave like a couple,” she shares.

No one in her circle knows that Raoul is an escort and they have yet to bump into another client of his at an event. But if that happens, Erica knows she’ll be cool about it.

“I respect Raoul as someone who provides a professional service. I may be a regular client but I believe there are others too, and everyone deserves the same quality of his service, attention and care.”

*Name changed upon request.

This article was first published in CLEO Singapore.