Andrea and Pierre share tips on how to keep the spark alive

When local actor Pierre Png first met fellow actress-host Andrea De Cruz, he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

The actor first saw her come out of a salon with a new hairdo. But at that time, he was still attached to someone else. Years later, he bumped into De Cruz again at a play and summoned up the courage to ask her out to supper. "Everything...took off from there," the 40-year-old actor said at an event organised by Lux last Thursday.

The celebrity couple were present at the launch of Lux's new collection of body washes and bar soaps. It comprises the Lux Soft Touch, Lux Velvet Touch, Lux White Impress, Lux Magical Spell and Lux Aqua Sparkle.

They shared with the audience secrets to keeping their sparks alive after being together for 15 years in total. While not going into details, the 39-year-old actress revealed how she would take the initiative to spark a romantic physical moment with her husband.

Now in their 11th year of marriage, the couple admit that not everything is always smooth-sailing. In 2002, De Cruz suffered from liver failure after consuming Slim 10 diet pills. Png, then her fiance, saved her life by donating part of his liver to her. Despite the health scare, Png said that it was difficulties like this that united them and "set the pace" for a strong relationship.

Since the transplant, the pair have learned to take things one day at a time, handle disappointments and to be prepared when stuff doesn't go according to plan. De Cruz said: "I planned that by 28, I would be married and have so many kids. But that didn't happen. You can't plan for tomorrow. Disease and illnesses are something that plagues all of us, you plan for that sort of rainy day. It's good to have goals, but you also have to be able to bend with the wind."

For Png, knowing that his wife is happy and healthy is enough to make him happy and satisfied. He said: "Just seeing a smile on Andrea's face, just knowing that she's alright and safe makes me very happy."

Here is the rest of the interview with the couple in detail:

You guys have been together for 15 years. On a scale of one to five, with one being warm and fuzzy, and five being blazing, sexy hot, how would you rate the spark in your relationship now?

Png: Fortunately or unfortunately, at the very start of our relationship, we were kind of put to the test. Andrea fell ill and I was lucky enough to be a donor. We were put to the test, our families came together and it was then that we realised we were a perfect match, not just in terms of organs. That set the pace for our relationship. We knew that the years we have together would have its ups and downs, and whatever the case is, we're both going to rough it through together.

De Cruz: After 15 years of being with someone, you go through a roller-coaster ride. There are times where it's a one, and there are times when it's a five and there are days when it's a three, so it fluctuates...where we are, you don't sweat the small stuff anymore. If you can close one eye, you close one eye. If you can sweep the thing under the carpet, you do that.

You mentioned there were ups and downs in your relationship. Do you quarrel often?

Png: At this point, we are both working adults and we have moods. There are times when we don't feel like doing something (with our partner), not because we don't like (them). A fight is something that is really unreasonable and uncalled for, because you don't understand each other enough. We disagree when we have different opinions - that's slightly different. You should take every opportunity to get to know the person you are sleeping with. And these opportunities, not just the good times that you have spent, but the bad times you have had with each other, help you know and keep each other close.

De Cruz: We are built differently. It is okay not to agree to things, but if you can come to a compromise, great.

Any tips on how to solve disagreements like that?

Png: Before you disagree, take a step back and ask yourself why you are disagreeing. If you disagree because you expect this person to do something the way you want the person to do it, then you are in the wrong. Because when you do something with someone, you don't expect that person to thank you. In a matured relationship, you would not expect anything in return. For example, if Andrea did something that I don't like, I ask myself why is she doing this. When I look at it from her perspective, then I understand. There were times when I reacted on impulse and I said whatever I wanted to say, not knowing where Andrea is coming from. And we fight.

Andrea, what gets you in the mood to ignite the spark and do you proactively spark a romantic physical moment?

De Cruz: I'm quite proactive in that sense, yes. I don't particularly agree that men should always be the one to initiate. I think, living in this day and age, if we can earn our keep, if we are able to be self-sustainable, we should be able to do the same things as men do, and that includes being very proactive in bed. So, I do it.

Png: It's not just in bed that she's proactive, but for many other things.

Pierre, what puts you in the mood?

Png: Many things actually. Just seeing a smile on Andrea's face, just knowing that she's alright, she's safe, makes me very happy. What really puts me in the mood is when I come back late at night, and I work very long hours, so there will be days where I wake up in the morning and Andrea is lying in the same position, and I come back and she is still in the same position. But when she stays up late at night, and the lights are down and the dogs are not in her room, I know I'm getting some. But the important thing is that she smells good and she's comfortable…Just knowing that Andrea is safe, she feels good, she looks good, makes me happy.

Any tips for couples out there to ignite that spark and keep that spark alive between them?

De Cruz: I have girlfriends telling me every day that their marriage is quite blah, nothing really happens. It's the same routine every day. I think what has helped us in the past many years we have been together is that we get very impromptu about things. If you can help not planning what's going to happen next week or next month, don't plan it. Just do it on a whim. If it tickles your fancy to take a trip somewhere, do it. Because really, life is short, we all know that. Anything could happen tomorrow. You could plan for something to happen next week, next year or next month, it might not happen. So if today you feel like doing something just do it, especially if you have a loved one you can do it with.

Png: In my opinion, there is no secret to it. You just have to keep your marriage fresh, you have to keep it real and sacred. So when you do all these, from a guy's point of view, it makes everything so complete. And most men are actually very easily satisfied.

ngkaren@sph.com.sg