Forgive the hand-wringing hyperbole, but Aishwarya Rai's recent looks really have been ferociously fierce in their pure perfection. Unattainable? The beauty secret to her red carpet appearance at the 2014 Cannes Film Festival is surprisingly purse-friendly!
Come on now, Aishu. Your beauty's criminally insane. My beauty buddies and I are unanimous in our armchair appraisal of your red carpet look at the Two Days, One Night premiere at this year's Cannes fest - you shut it down, honey.
I mean, just look at her gliding down the French Riviera in her gilded mermaid gown (Roberto Cavalli, natch), looking for all the world like Botticelli's Venus. The woman is 40-years-old, for mascara's sake!
et's parse Aishwarya Rai's look apart, shall we. That astonishing Art Deco-embellished Cavalli gown? Done up in that sweet spot between silver and gold - it reads like pink champagne from certain angles - the colour is fabulously flattering to the Bollywood babe's Manuka honey complexion.
Tumbling tresses caressing her decolletage? Super sexy and very Mariah Carey-esque in its unabashed embrace of the high-maintenance diva aesthetic.
But what really propels Aishwarya's look into a lane of its own is her face painter's daring decision to just roll with the punches and go big or go home: Gorgeous glossy liner and lashes the length of spider's legs on the eyes; contoured cheeks that could cut glass; red nails and red lips.
Shatteringly spectacular? You betcha. Unattainable? Not on my watch.
That red lippie in particular is just insane. Not too warm, not too cool; not greasy in the way of high-shine gloss, no feathering to speak of, not flatly dry like most matte formulas, either.
My gut instinct? A judicious mix of brands and formulas, with some M.A.C Ruby Woo thrown in the mix. As it turns out, it was nowhere as complicated as I thought it was.
A few cold calls later and bingo. The good folks at L'Oreal Paris Singapore tell me that you can approximate the lippie the Indian icon was wearing with - drumroll, please - Color Riche Moist Matte in C511 Orange Power.
Bam. All of this makes perfect sense, seeing as I've fiddled around with the Moist Matte range myself and can attest to its vibrantly velvety and super-pigmented power.
(For the record, the actual shade Aishwarya was wearing appears to be Moist Matte Lincoln Rose PM412, but that's unavailable on Singapore shores, more's the pity.)
Happily, what you can get are Aishwarya's matchy-matchy polish and eye products, all available at your nearest pharmacy in Singapore. Now you know!
Oh, and hat tip to my fashion friends, who've astutely pointed out that American songbird Kristin Chenoweth wore the exact same dress to the 2014 Oscars earlier this year.
There's no point playing #WhoWoreItBetter in this instance, though, because as much as I adore Kristin's precious persona and lungs of steel, Aishwarya Rai's red lip really takes this Cavalli creation to infinity and beyond.
And the best thing? That red lippie's all yours for just S$21.90 - a real steal for a look so perfect, if you ask me!
The L'Oreal Paris products used on Aishwarya Rai are available at Watsons, Guardian, Sasa and selected super and hypermarkets. For more information, visit www.loreal.com.sg and follow L'Oréal Paris Singapore on Facebook.
Go to herworldPLUS for more stories.