I'm a full-time homemaker in my 40s. I married last year, and I'm now pregnant. I'm concerned, however, about our future because my husband is sloppy and immature.
He is in his 50s, but he does't behave like an adult. When my family and his family had a get-together, he didn't greet people there appropriately. When they were leaving, he just stood to see them off. During the event, he just sat drinking beer.
When we went to a department store together, he behaved arrogantly to the shop people.
Whatever he does, he lacks consideration and adult common sense. He doesn't earn much and isn't intelligent, either. He is just like a child.
Can he be a reliable breadwinner who can look after his family? I feel so uneasy that I can't quit smoking. He is full of chivalry, but that's it.
When I talk to him, he doesn't stop playing games on his cell phone. As he gives me at least monosyllabic replies, I think he is ready to hear me out, but honestly, I think I shouldn't have married him.
I'm not physically tough and can't work. I also don't want to trouble my own family. What should I do?
M, Saitama Prefecture
Dear Ms. M:
I don't know how and why you and your husband married. But now, you're thinking, "It wasn't supposed to be," aren't you?
You will soon give birth to your first baby. If you continue to worry, it's not good for your baby. As spring is just around the corner, why don't you see the bright side?
First, just concentrate on giving birth to a healthy baby.
To do so, you must quit smoking. When you feel frustrated, just imagine the soft skin of your baby or how it is to carry the baby in your arms. If you feel happy, your unborn baby will probably smile, too.
Speaking of your "childlike" husband, you say he is very chivalrous. So when your baby is born, he will change to be a good father, I believe. It's important for you to find and count his good points.
Based on this, why don't you say to him, "Play cell phone games less and talk with me more," or when he doesn't behave like an adult, scold him with: "Why are you like this? Our child is watching you."
So please go forward step by step to raise your child and also raise your husband.
I do hope you give birth to a healthy baby.