K-sweethearts

When Singaporean Vincent Kuang first met Ms Jeong Yu-Seon here last January through mutual friends, he had little interest in Korean culture.

"I knew nothing about Running Man (a popular South Korean variety programme) and did not watch K-dramas," says the 31-year-old engineer.

He also never had the desire to date a Korean, although he confesses that, in his younger days as a big fan of Japanese culture, "I wanted to marry a Japanese woman".

"But it doesn't matter now," he deadpans, having married Ms Jeong in March after dating for a year. "Connection is more important."

Many here are into K-pop, K-dramas and K-cosmetics. Yet, most Singaporeans in K-marriages will say Korean culture was not a factor in choosing their mates.

Korean cultural experts say such Singaporean- Korean unions have increased in recent years, although their observations are anecdotal.

This likelihood is statistically supported, however, by the estimated number of Koreans living in Singapore. Mr Yoon Jaewoong, press and culture counsellor at the Embassy of the Republic of Korea in Singapore, suggests that this figure has "increased from around 20,000 to around 25,000 in the last five years".

Dr Sun Jung, research fellow at the National University of Singapore's Asia Research Institute, says that the increase in Korean- Singaporean marriages here is in line with the increase in trans-national marriages globally, thanks to globalisation and the increased trans-national flows of people and culture.

"People have easier access and increased familiarity today to foreign cultures and people, and are ready to embrace foreignness," says Dr Jung.

Of the five couples that SundayLife! spoke to, one met while both parties were studying overseas in the United States, one met while the Korean other half was holidaying alone here, and the rest met because their Korean other halves were working here.

Mr Yoon suggests that Singaporean men may be attracted to Korean women because of their "elegant looks, fashion sense, and their motherly and caring nature as portrayed in dramas and films".

Bank employee Jermyn Chua, 31, agrees with that. He says he was drawn to his Korean wife's "homely, domesticated nature".

"She could cook and seemed like she could run the household well," he says.

Mr Kuang, however, only partially agrees with Mr Yoon's suggestion.

On his first encounter with Ms Jeong, a manager at Korean barbecue restaurant chain Ju Shin Jung in Singapore, he says: "She looked feminine but was intimidating. She spoke in a very authoritative manner, like a boss."

Laughing, Ms Jeong, 35, says her work in a managerial position for the past nine years - five in Korea and four here - calls for her to be a "strong lady".

"I'm glad my husband knows me for who I am, beyond my position at work," she says.

Ms Seo Ji Yun, who teaches Korean at the Singapore Management University, suggests that Korean women may be attracted to Singaporean men because they are "more gentlemanly, less chauvinistic and more homely".

Mr Chua's wife, Ms Choi Jung Mi, 32, says those qualities did stand out in him.

"He was very respectful, considerate, and I felt that he did not just expect me to follow all his instructions," says Ms Choi, who works in Samsung Electronics here.

While Mr Kuang's wife Ms Jeong agrees that her husband is caring, she was initially disappointed that he was unromantic.

To which he says: "Korean dramas often portray the men as romantic, treating the girls like princesses and speaking to them in poetic sentences. I'm an engineer. I'm not a romantic guy."

He has softened his stance, however, because: "My wife came up with the rule that I have to say 'I love you' to her every day."

Besides the usual personality clashes and disparate expectations that married couples have to deal with, the Korean-Singaporean couples say there are cultural differences to overcome.

Some Korean partners faced parental opposition to their choice of spouse.

Koreans "live in a very homogeneous society and there is usually a strong preference to marry someone from the same culture", says Ms Seo.

Some of the couples also had to overcome the language barrier - trying to connect despite the Korean spouse's limited English vocabulary.

The problem is exacerbated when they have to live with Singaporean Chinese in-laws, some of whom understand only Mandarin.

But in the case of Ms Choi and Mr Chua, Singlish was the issue.

She initially could not understand his English at all because of Mr Chua's "strong Singlish accent".

Who manages the family's money is another potential sticking point. Dr Jung says that in Korea, the women usually hold the purse strings, whether they work or not.

This practice could be "uncomfortable" for Singaporean men, who are used to holding on to economic power as breadwinners, she says.

Two of the Singaporean men SundayLife! spoke to recalled receiving "a cultural shock" when their wives broached this subject with them.

Says Mr Chua: "We decided on having three bank accounts so I could control my money, she could control her money and we would have a joint account to share control together."

"Differences can be resolved with discussions," he adds.

This article was first published on June 1, 2014.
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