Married for third time at 63 after vowing to stay single

Married for third time at 63 after vowing to stay single
Mr Lim and his new bride entering a common area in Golden Jasmine for their wedding reception which was attended by 100 guests, including staff and neighbours at Golden Jasmine, friends and relatives from both sides. Their friends at Golden Jasmine, who were happy that Mr Lim had found a partner, helped to decorate the place.

On Oct 17, Mr Baden Lim, 63, legally tied the knot with Madam Cai Bao Yu, 50, at the Registry of Marriage in Fort Canning.

It was his third marriage, and her first.

Mr Lim believed he would never settle down again after his first two marriages failed. He and his second wife divorced 18 years ago.

The former offshore surveyor first got married when he was 29 to a clerk. Their daughter came along two years later.

The couple drifted apart because Mr Lim was then often away from home, working in China and other South-east Asian countries. He returned home one day to find her pregnant with another man's child.

They divorced in 1990, and he got custody of their daughter.

Relatives urged him to remarry, saying his child needed the care and guidance of a mother. He relented when his daughter - then 11 years old and cared for by relatives - said she wanted to live in her own home.

His relatives introduced him to a 30-year-old clerk from Hainan Island in China. He flew there to meet her a few times.

In September 1993, he arranged for her to come to Singapore. Two days after her arrival, they got married.

Another two days later, he left his new wife and his daughter in their four-room flat in Ang Mo Kio and returned to China to work.

He came home three months later on term leave and discovered that neither he nor his daughter could get along with his new bride.

He filed for divorce, which took five years to finalise and cost him $40,000 in settlement money.

Disillusioned with his experiences, he decided he was done with marriage and even went for a vasectomy.

"At that time, my daughter was still young. She was still in school, so I had to take care of her. She became my priority; I didn't feel confident and safe having another family," he explains.

By then, his daughter was studying at a polytechnic and had started living on her own.

Mr Lim went on to have two other relationships in China. But they ended because he was adamant about not walking down the aisle again.

The tall, slim man changed his mind only after a series of health scares landed him in hospital.

While working on an oil rig in China on a couple of occasions, he felt breathless and nearly collapsed. A health check revealed that he had a weak heart.

He decided to return home in 2006.

His employers gave him lighter duties. But after another near collapse, his doctor advised him to retire.

"When I ended up in the hospital, I started thinking. I'm in the final years of my life. In the hospital, I saw husbands and wives and I started thinking that perhaps I should get a life companion too," says Mr Lim, adding that he felt lonely in his four-room flat in Ang Mo Kio.

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