EPL: What really happened on transfer D-Day

EPL: What really happened on transfer D-Day

There were ups at Arsenal. There were downs at Manchester United.

There was celebrating in Madrid. There was also much giggling in Madrid.

Some have been called imposters, but that's a bit harsh.

David Moyes still needs a chance to prove himself. Still, the closing of the transfer window proved to be a dramatic affair for all concerned.

Fortunately, I spent yesterday phone hacking to record excerpts of their conversations. Here's how Deadline Day unfolded in real time...

DAVID MOYES: Tell them we want both of them... Leighton Baines and Marouane Fellaini and we'll pay whatever it takes... it'll take how much?

Okay, we're not paying that... no, don't start with the 'Dithering David' nickname again.

I'm a changed man now. I'm ready to make immediate decisions... you want me to bid for Baines and Fellaini separately? Ooh, I'll need time to think about that.

ARSENE WENGER: No, I've got to spend big or they'll have my head on a spike. We will just have to pay the insane market rates... what is Florentino Perez asking for Mesut Oezil? More than £40 million ($79m)? Yeah, I guessed as much. Okay, test his resolve. Put in an offer of £5m.

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