Football: Falcao leads Fantastic Four

SINGAPORE - This is why Manchester United threw all their fragile eggs into Louis van Gaal's basket.

His old friends in Holland call him "The King", his children call him "sir" and he proudly considers himself dominant and arrogant.

But the Red Devils manager lived up to his own billing last night. The ego didn't land on the transfer market. He obliterated it. When the smoke cleared, van Gaal emerged from the deadline-day madness clutching one of the world's finest strikers in Radamel Falcao.

He might even have snared a new creative midfielder too, someone very much in the mould of Paul Scholes, someone who looks remarkably like Wayne Rooney.

In signing Falcao, van Gaal has bought United a two-for-one special.

Nitpickers will argue that an exorbitant, single-season loan signing smacks of desperation, a clear indication of how far the former monarchs of Manchester have fallen, but United followers will be a thousand miles from caring.

Van Gaal has pulled off the most dramatic, unexpected signing of the transfer window.

In a sport saturated by hype, hyperbole and overkill, Falcao is a genuine Hollywood footballer; dipped in gold and destined to dazzle in the Premier League.

His 11 goals in 20 appearances for Monaco barely hint at his depth of talent, a reminder that statistics are black and white, whereas Falcao plays in glorious technicolour.

Lionel Messi wanted to play with him. Pep Guardiola admires him. Defenders are terrified of him.

Apart from his insatiable hunger for a dollar, Falcao is a No. 9 with no obvious weaknesses. He's the Robocop of strikers, genetically assembled to be the perfect poacher.

Athletic, muscular, deceptively quick but seemingly languid in possession, Falcao can lead the line or carve a trench into the penalty box from either flank with either foot.

He is not cursed with a weaker foot and is blessed with an aerial ability beyond most of his peers.

If a striker was manufactured in a laboratory, engineered by geneticists in white coats and programmed to score consistently from every height, angle and distance, he might look something like the long-haired Colombian.

Falcao's form, fame and pedigree made him an attractive proposition for van Gaal, the United manager snatching the forward from under the noses of Manchester City, Real Madrid and Arsenal simply because he can.

It's unlikely that Falcao would've bothered to return David Moyes' phone calls.

Money was obviously the Colombian's overriding concern, but van Gaal's global stature certainly helped.

The manager's name got Falcao's attention. His template probably got the striker's signature.

United are suddenly blessed with a fantastic four in attack (or five if one includes Juan Mata, but there is a growing suspicion that van Gaal may not).

Formation Change

Angel di Maria, Robin van Persie, Rooney and Falcao are an experienced quartet expected to charm at the Theatre of Dreams, but four into three doesn't go.

Van Gaal's much derided and destabilizing, 3-4-1-2 should now be chalked up as a bold, but failed, experiment and ditched.

Withdrawing Rooney, however, offers the promise of a renaissance for the striker and a resurrection for his struggling club.

Like his former England colleagues Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard, Rooney's career going forward always seems to be behind him. His future is over his shoulder.

In the hole, or even as a link man who cuts inside and switches flanks, Rooney possesses the creative dynamism that has eluded Mata since his move to Old Trafford.

The Englishman has the passing range, the improvisational invention and enough pace to support a front three of di Maria, van Persie and Falcao.

His bullish style and battered body always suggested his twilight years would be spent outside the penalty box: the ticking clock pulling Rooney towards the centre circle.

Van Gaal's late, unexpected signing of Falcao might have hastened the transition.

Either way, United are suddenly blessed with an embarrassment of riches in attack.

It's just unfortunate really that their defence remains a bit of an embarrassment.

npsports@sph.com.sg

This article was first published on September 2, 2014.
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