I don't know whose is bigger - Zlatan Ibrahimovic's or Cristiano Ronaldo's. Don't get the wrong idea.
I'm talking about their egos.
In the do-or-die Sweden vs Portugal World Cup qualifying clash, the final score was Ronaldo 3 Ibrahimovic 2.
But after the loss, Zany Zlatan told us to forget about Brazil 2014 because, as he claimed, "a World Cup without me is nothing to watch".
Oh, you know Ibra.
He's the best centre-forward never to have played in the Premier League and his autobiography is called, humbly, I Am Zlatan.
The way England's own perennially injured central striker Andy Carroll's book will be called I Am Hospital.
Ibrahimovic's right. Without him, who's going to score four goals against England the way he did in a friendly last year?
That included one impossible overhead gem which defied not just geometry but also geography.
Oh, wait, maybe Lionel Messi may score five or Neymar might hit six.
England's national ego, you see, is a little brittle right now following consecutive losses to Chile and Germany at their home turf of Wobbly … sorry, Wembley.
It's the first time in 36 years that England have been beaten twice in a row at home.