Where the streets have no name for Moyes

Sir Alex Ferguson has followed in the Sir Matt Busby's footsteps. He has left Manchester United on the brink of oblivion.

Yes, I'm joking. He's only had a street named after him.

Everyone can take a deep breath and count to 10. I'm not really saying it's the end of the world for United. That will come next season.

But Ferguson does have a street, aptly known as Sir Alex Ferguson Way (also known as "How the United Dressing Room Has Been Run for 26 Years").

The retired Scotsman expressed his gratitude for such an honour, but such unusual accolades are double-edge swords.

Having such a visible, touchable accolade in industrial Manchester might be asking for trouble. Apparently, there have been two vandalism attempts already.

But the police took the cans of spray paint away from David Moyes.

According to eyewitnesses, a wideeyed Scotsman was spotted defacing the road sign while singing Frank Sinatra's classic My Way.

Moyes has promised not to vandalise the street sign again, but then he has also promised to win silverware at Old Trafford so every comment must be taken with a pinch of salt.

There's not much chance of Moyes getting himself a street sign at the moment.

As things stand, he'll be lucky to get a parking space in Manchester.

Tribute Trouble

But that's the trouble with such tributes.

They are constantly up against the fickle tides of public opinion.

To shamelessly drop in a historical fact that I am most proud of, I grew up in the very street that Sir Alf Ramsey was born.

That was something to brag about as a kid. I'm not sure if people are equally proud of growing up in the same street as Roy Hodgson.

But playing football on the same grass patches once frequented by England's only World Cup-winning manager was a real boost for us youngsters. We hoped to follow in Sir Alf 's footsteps.

There was more chance of me following in ALF's footsteps, the furry alien from that 1980s sitcom.

For years, there was talk of perhaps renaming my childhood street after its most famous football son. And then Ramsey failed to qualify for the 1974 World Cup Finals (thanks to Poland) and there really was more chance of the street being named after a furry alien from a 1980s sitcom.

Fortunately, Ferguson had retired before he got his street.

In my hometown in East London, Bobby Moore and Trevor Brooking were honoured with road names while they were still playing.

Now that's a tricky business. Apart from anything else, Brooking could never buy a street in that part of the city.

If he gave his home address on official forms as "Trevor Brooking, Brooking Road etc", people might assume his form was a hoax.

Fandi's Street?

Or he was one of those kids who write their address as "Fandi Ahmad, Fandi Ahmad Street, Singapore, the World, the Universe."

I'm not saying Fandi has ever done this. I just wanted a local example. I'm pretty sure he usually leaves off "the Universe" bit in all official correspondence.

More importantly, a shift in fame or fortune can change everything. Imagine owning a house in Di Canio Drive.

In May, residents would've been treated to visiting Sunderland supporters sliding along lawns on their knees. Now they'd have Newcastle fans pointing and giggling.

Property prices in Di Canio Drive might even be affected, particularly if the Italian manager actually lived there.

Park Ji Sung actually does have a road named after him in Suwon, South Korea, following his exploits at the 2002 World Cup. Strangely, the street is rarely visited by QPR fans.

Confusion

Moreover any road dedication must be made clear.

If United's Phil Jones ever gets a Jones Street, then he will share the prestige with a million other Joneses.

It could be footballer Cliff Jones, boxer Roy Jones or singer Tom Jones. It's not unusual.

If the street title is vague, it could be attributed to anyone. At a book event, I once told someone that Neil Road in Chinatown was named after me. The young guy believed me.

I felt terrible, mostly because I never actually bothered to correct myself.

And he's not the only person to ask me about Neil Road.

So there are a couple of poor souls in Singapore who believe I have my own street in Chinatown.

But then, there are people who believe Moyes will win the Premier League this season.

Will Moyes ever follow Ferguson and get his own road in Manchester?

There's more chance of Neil Road being renamed Wacky Wednesday Way.

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