X-Men with the X-Factor

X-Men with the X-Factor
Illustration of Portugal footballer Cristiano Ronaldo as Storm, a character from X-Men comics and movies.


He can affect those around him with just one touch of his forehead. Ordinarily, his role would've gone to Alan Pardew.

But the Newcastle manager isn't going to Brazil. He's bearded. He's a little over the hill and he's worried that his skills are no longer being taken seriously. Somehow, he's got to work with limited resources despite being an old man. Being 104 years old now, Andrea Pirlo is perfect.


Wolverine is ageless. He gets to play himself as both a young and an old man. He represents his people's hopes in the present and in the past. He still thinks he fits in among the youngsters. Samuel Eto'o knows the feeling.

He's still scoring for Cameroon against Germany in friendlies. And he started scoring for Cameroon back in the 1970s.


He is on a superior wavelength to everyone else. His vision is telepathic. He can change the world, but he's a bit of a lad, a bit of a character. Luis Suarez is a young Professor X. He controls everything around him, plus he can alter another man's behaviour by touching any body part with his teeth.


Tall, dark, blue and sexy to many, Mystique could also possibly be Giroud in a France jersey. But Mystique's real ability is shape-shifting.

The powerful, deadly woman can transform herself into anything she likes within reason (she can't turn Rooney into a World Cup-winning striker. It must be something plausible.)

No one at the World Cup can shape-shift like Mesut Oezil. At the previous tournament in South Africa, he was a sublime young talent. In Brazil, he could turn into a Sunday morning pub team footballer.

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