Old marriage customs get new life
Sure, it's fun to tease bridegroom, and still get an angpow from the bride for making his grovel to fetch his bride on his big day. But do you know the significance of this Chinese marriage ritual? AsiaOne divines this and other rites for your easy reference.
Cynthia Loh
Wed, Sep 17, 2008
AsiaOne
When it comes to your big day, every last detail counts.
So if you're wont to pick an auspicious wedding date to begin your marriage on a good note, following traditional customary rites will be a must-do on your wedding list.
However, not many modern couples fully understand the significance and symbolism behind the rituals and gifts that are exchanged between two families about to be related by marriage.
Sean Lui, who has set up Fu Yuan - The Wedding Shop, a one-stop customary wedding consultancy that also provides Chinese wedding gift packages with a group of geomancy and fengshui specialists, shares the significance behind these traditions.
Every custom in a traditional Chinese wedding is meant to ensure a smooth beginning to a new marriage. The sets of gifts exchanged between the families of the bride and groom are meant to symbolise lasting happiness, longevity and a fruitful union for the newly-weds.
| Did you know? In the olden days, the suckling pig was presented to the bride's family for the following reasons: 1.To show that the groom's family is very satisfied with the bride. This practice is still widely practiced by Singaporeans today, especially among the Cantonese. |
Before it became the norm for couples to court each other and fall in love before tying the knot, marriages were usually matchmade. Both families would exchange a series of proposal letters to determine that the bride and bridegroom-to-be were suitable for each other. These included the Request Letter, Gift Letter and Wedding Letter.
Once the proposal was accepted, the two families would practice the "Six Etiquettes", which included requesting for the bride's birth details, selecting an auspicious wedding date, accepting the betrothal,confirming the wedding date and fetching the bride back to the groom's home on the wedding day. A series of gifts would also be exchanged between both families to prepare for the union of the couple and their families in marriage.
Modern Chinese couples today will be familiar with four main steps - the Betrothal, the Dowry, Bridal Bed Installation and the Hair Combing Ceremony.
One to two weeks before the wedding day, the groom's family will send gifts with auspicious meaning and cash, or 'pin jin' to the bride's family.
These betrothal gifts assured the bride's family that the groom will be able to provide well for their daughter, and accepting them meant that the bride's parents accept the groom-to-be as their son-in-law.
» Items to be given in the betrothal gifts by the groom's family to the bride's family and their significance (click here)
| Did you know? In ancient times, sisters, or ''jie meis'' were the blood siblings of the bride. They would pose obstacles and challenges to the groom on their parents' instructions to test the sincerity and commitment of the groom. The groom will need to impress the future parents-in-law by completing as many tasks as possible. The parents of the bride will then give instructions to allow the groom to come into the house and pick up his bride. TIP: Grooms - don't shirk responsibility by walking away when your bride's jie meis set tasks for you! |
In return, the dowry is a set of items given to the bride by her parents, and brought along by the bride to her new home on the wedding day. Items in her dowry signify that she is mature enough to take on the role of wife and mother in the new family and include household items such as bedsheets, a baby prosperity set, toiletries such as a mug, toothbrush and toothpaste to bless the couple with a good start to their marriage.
» Items to be given in the dowry by the bride's family and their significance (click here)
During the eve of the wedding, both bride and groom-to-be will have their hair combed by their parents.
As mum combs hair with four strokes, dad will recite the symbolism behind each stroke. The first stroke symbolizes wishes for a sweet relationship from beginning until the end, the second stroke symbolizes harmony in the new family, the third stroke wishes the couple with healthy offspring and descendants, and the fourth stroke symbolizes abundant wealth and a long-lasting marriage.
» Auspicious sayings to be recited during the Hair Combing Ceremony (click here)
| Did you know? As is usual with Chinese traditions, even food that is eaten during a wedding is full of symbolism. Glutinous rice balls, or ''tang yuan'', represent a complete and fulfilling future. The Chinese believe that a couple will be blessed with an abundance of good luck after eating them during the wedding cermony. |
Friends and relatives who have attended a Chinese couple's traditional ceremony would have likely been treated to the sight of a little boy jumping and rolling around on the newly-married couple's marital bed. This is part of the bridal bed installation to signify a fruitful marriage blessed with children for the couple. The groom's parents will shift the bed slightly place red packets known as "Yuan Qian" or "Yuan Zi", or destiny charm, at each corner to symbolize wealth and prosperity for the newly-weds.
As the little boy jumps around on the bed, peanuts, red dates, lotus seeds, two oranges and other sweets are scattered on the bed to complete the installation.Red cut-outs of the Chinese character "Xi", or double happiness, are also pasted on every cupboard, mirror and door in the bedroom, and drawers in every table and cupboard in the bedroom should contain a destiny charm and some pine leaves for blessing and good luck.
» Items used in the Bridal Bed Installation and their significance(click here)