I REFER to Ms Felicia Tan's letter, 'Teens may be pressured into taking virginity pledges' (Jan 18).
Allow me to provide insights into an abstinence programme called No Apologies that I facilitate as a volunteer (www.noapologies.sg).

It is a non-religious programme targeting at youth.

Besides providing accurate information on sex, contraceptives and sexually transmitted diseases, material topics include:

• An understanding that sexual intimacy has consequences beyond the physical, to social, emotional and ethical spheres;
• Effects of wrong choices on one's dreams and goals;
• Abortion;
• Risky behaviour and character flaws;
• Media influences;
• Healthy friendships and peer pressure;
• Differences between love, lust and infatuation;
• Healthy dating and boundaries in physical intimacy; and
• Practical tips on how to say 'no' and not succumb to unhealthy relationship pressures.

It advocates sexual intimacy as a wonderful and pleasurable gift to be enjoyed within the commitment of a marriage.

No Apologies has reached more than 48,700 youth to date. I am sure participants will attest that the abstinence programme does not lead to unhealthy notions about sex and is not pressurising.

Participants, youth mentors and school teachers have given feedback to me that the programme is beneficial.

Youth pledged abstinence voluntarily after a holistic consideration on all the relevant issues.

Peer group pressure, if any, works both ways. If the youth are not convinced by the message, it would actually work against making the pledge.

Keeping the pledge, of course, depends on many factors - the onslaught of media, peer and society influences, raging hormones, as well as parents and family support. Nonetheless, the pledge is a significant step forward.

Notably, an abstinence programme is much more than virginity pledges and they are not the same thing.

Even if studies reveal a low percentage of pledge keepers, the message of abstinence still stands. The correct response is for parents, schools and regulators to work together to help youth succeed.

Is the 'safe sex' message an alternative? Can the issues youth face be staked on a piece of rubber? Is that responsible education?

The Johns Hopkins study concludes that youth of similar religious or conservative background differ little in sexual behaviour, whether or not they take a pledge. Foreign media headlines seem grossly misleading and sensational in reporting the study.

The study cannot yet be taken as conclusive. A recent study by Mathematica Research Policy concluded that youth who pledge abstinence are no less likely to use a condom than their peers if they become sexually active.

While new evidence can add to the debate, it should be viewed beside the full body of research evidence.

I invite Ms Tan to visit a No Apologies workshop to learn first hand about an abstinence education programme.

Steven Tan
No Apologies Volunteer Facilitator
Focus on the Family