ROY Keane is not a man to be messed around.

The legendary Manchester United midfielder had no hesitation in criticising his Old Trafford team-mates and, by the looks of things, he's taken that forthright attitude into his dealings with the press.

In a post-match conference that seemed at times to be more like watching a killer whale make small talk with the penguins, Keane repeatedly terrified the gentlemen of the press, dismissing their questions and forcing them into line.

He started so charmingly, smiling when someone asked him if he'd time to analyse the cross-shot by James Milner that had crept into Craig Gordon's goal to level the scores.

'I've seen it once,' he announced, 'and I don't want to see it again.'

'Would you say it was a sloppy goal, Roy?' asked one reckless hack.

'Hey!' barked Keane, startling everybody.

The Irishman stuck out a finger at his quarry.

'Every goal you concede is a sloppy goal,' he growled.

Anxious to change the subject, a man in the front row decided to chance his arm with an angle on the nasty challenge by Joey Barton on Dickson Etuhu.

'Listen,' said Keane softly as he turned his cold, unblinking eyes on the journalist whose knees now seemed to tremble beneath his chair.

'Listen to me.'

The room went very quiet.

'I'm not getting into that. That's the kind of challenge that happens in these game. It's nothing. My man's still alive down there in the dressing room, so it's nothing. You get challenges like that in games like these, that's what it's all about.'

SOLITARY GULP

The room stayed silent, save for the solitary gulp of the man with the dictaphone.

Keane stared him down for a five-second period that felt like an eternity even for me, sat safely at the back of the room.

Keane broke his gaze and rolled his eyes.

'There's always someone who wants to make something out of nothing for a silly headline, isn't there?'

Fifty journalists edged slightly further backwards and began to repeatedly press the delete button.

Next week, if it's at all possible, I'd like to go back to Arsene Wenger.

He's not nearly as scary.

WHAT IF...

...MARK VIDUKA had broken the deadlock in the 52nd minute? The big Australian frontman did well to win the ball in the box and played a perfect ball into the six-yard box. Unfortunately for him, no-one was there to meet it. Sunderland scored 30 seconds later.

...MICHAEL OWEN had put Newcastle ahead? With 20 minutes left and the score tied at 1-1, the England striker went one-on-one with Craig Gordon, but was edged out and could only scuff a weak shot towards goal. He could, and should, have done much better.

...MICHAEL CHOPRA had won it for Sunderland? The former Newcastle centre-forward managed to get a header in with eight minutes left, but the ball crashed off the crossbar and there was no-one there to meet it.

...MIKE ASHLEY had been a normal chairman? The rumour in the pressbox was that the multi-millionaire, banned from the Director's Box because of his insistence on wearing a replica shirt, had turned up in a minibus for the match. Surrounded by Newcastle shirt-wearing stewards, he took his place with away fans and turned his back on the corporate hospitality.