There's something lots of Italian restaurants don't want you to know: Real Italians don't eat spaghetti bolognese. Because there's no such thing in Italy.
I discover this on a trip to Bologna, home of all things bolognese. And there's probably no better place to reinvent the meal, because if you go to Venice for the canals and Florence for the art, you come to Bologna for the food, hailed by many Italians as the nation's best.
The city has lots to offer the visitor: buckets of history, striking architecture, a buzzing nightlife and even its own leaning tower.
But they are all a bit wasted on me and my travel companion. We are there for the food.

Come on, try some: You can dig into dishes made of tortellini (above) dumplings stuffed with meat or cheese. |
Since the Middle Ages, this northern Italian town has had a reputation for sumptuous cuisine. Its prosperity produced heavy dishes cooked with plenty of meat, cream and cheese, with butter often used in place of olive oil.
Today, it's more of a business than a tourist hub, and not as obvious a holiday destination as other Italian cities.
Which is good news for foodies, because it means fewer crowds to elbow through on their pilgrimage.
The first place to head to is the legendary street market, a clutch of stalls and shops a few streets east of the Piazza Maggiore, the main square.

Piazza Pleasure: Whether you visit the Piazza Maggiore during the day or at night, you'll find plenty to see and do. |
Descriptions in travel guides do not prepare you for the eye-popping array of edible delights on offer here.
You start feeling light-headed the minute you walk past Paulo Atti & Figli, a food emporium in Via Caprarie and Via Drapperie. Or rather fail to walk past it, because it's impossible not to stop and stare at the hundreds of pastas, cheeses, meats, breads and pastries inside.
I sense an evil genius behind the artfully arranged displays. These appear to have been subtitled for the greed-impaired, with handwritten signs in Italian saying things like 'He who eats chocolate is happier'. Another, hanging over a sea of tortellini, announces that the tiny stuffed dumplings were made 'one at a time'.
At stalls around the corner, locals are going about their weekly shopping, oblivious to the handful of tourists gawking at the swathes of seafood, great walls of cheese and hanging gardens of ham.
I can't get over how Photoshop-perfect everything looks, particularly the fruit and vegetable displays: purple-green artichokes here, orange zucchini flowers there and earth-brown truffles in between.
Chocoholics might get sidetracked a bit - a few minutes south of the market is the famed Majani sweet shop, said to be Italy's oldest. It still sells the signature Cremino Fiat, a hazelnut and milk chocolate cube first made in 1911 in honour of the first Fiat car. Now, the must-trys are the chocolate 'tortellini' and chocolate bars flavoured with chilli and cardamom.
Overwhelmed by choice, we resolve to buy just one thing that day and retreat before doing more damage to our waistlines. After some hand-wringing, we settle on two perfectly formed marrons glaces from Paulo Atti - chestnuts swaddled in a sugar crust, an Italian invention despite the French name.

The Piazza Maggiore during the day |
But the onslaught is just beginning.
In a town like this, reading a restaurant menu is sweet torture. With limited time and tummy space, how do you sample all the regional specialities?
We give it our best shot. At the Cantina Bentivoglio, we have tortelloni, the better-fed versions of tortellini, stuffed with ricotta cheese and tossed in fresh sage butter. And at Il Cantinone, we finally get some real pasta bolognese.
After watching Godfather-type movies, I expect my plate to be a lake of tomatoey, meaty sauce, on top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese.
The real deal is very different - the meat sauce is served with tagliatelle verdi, a green spinach pasta with flat sides which the sauce clings to more readily than it does slippery spaghetti.
There's also very little tomato in it - just enough to add some sweetness to the ground beef, which is traditionally cooked for hours in milk and wine. You're served with just enough sauce to coat the jade ribbons, and the cheese on top is optional.
The result is a lot lighter and fresher-tasting than the spaghetti bolognese you get in other parts of the world.
This is true of other iconic Italian foods - even in a city known for rich cooking. At Pizzeria Belle Arti, the superb pizzas are scantily clad - just a handful of fresh ingredients like Parma ham and cheese, rather than the thick layer of toppings you get on their stuffed-crust cousins abroad.
To be fair, these culturally modified organisms evolved from their own logic, and can taste pretty darn good too. The United States got spaghetti bolognese, for example, when Italian immigrants from Naples found they could afford more meat with their favourite skinny noodles (or so one theory goes).
Back in the motherland, however, we are using our newfound enthusiasm for authenticity as an excuse to keep eating.
We learn that an authentic night out in Bologna actually begins before dinner, with drinks or aperitivi. You rock up to one of the many bars or osterie, order a glass of wine and strike a pose while checking everyone out.
The only downside is the risk of ruining your supper from the procession of snacks paraded across the counter, anything from crisps and nuts to olives, pasta, bread and cheese - all free of charge.
In fact, it's entirely possible - maybe even necessary - to skip a dinner or two during your stay.

Highlight: You can't miss the Due Torri, two 12th-century tiwers that loom over Bologna's historical centre. |
It is more fun to simply eat around it, starting with the pastry shops and cafes where you can sneak a bombolone alla Nutella (Nutella-filled donut) or cornetto alla crema (custard-filled puff pastry) with your afternoon cappuccino.
Another good grazing spot is the Tamburini delicatessen, where you can nibble on cured meats such as mortadella, a pork sausage studded with pearls of fat and sometimes pistachios.
Bologna has been associated with it for centuries (it was even the subject of a hilarious 1970s Sophia Loren movie), and the silky thin slices you get are nothing like the poor facsimiles sold abroad.
If you like wine, the next stop should be the Antica Drogheria Calzolari, a charming shop and bar. Friendly staff will pour you a glass of anything you see on the crammed shelves, and ply you with savoury local crackers called streghe while you drink.
After all that, it's time to shop for souvenirs. But you don't come to Bologna and buy a fridge magnet or T-shirt.
Instead you go to Scaramagli, a gourmet supermarket, and try to work out what you can fit into your suitcase.
Addresses
Paolo Atti & Figli: Via Caprarie 7 and Via Drapperie 12
Majani: Via Carbonesi 5
Cantina Bentivoglio: Via Mascarella 4B
Il Cantinone: Via Del Pratello 56A
Pizzeria Belle Arti: Via Belle Arti 14
Tamburini: Via Caprarie 1
Antica Drogheria Calzolari: Via Petroni 9
Scaramagli: Strada Maggiore 31
5 things to do
1 Do explore the old town and soak up its distinctive architecture. Bologna, one of the best preserved mediaeval cities in Europe, is known for its red buildings and elegant porticos, columned walkways that wrap around many structures.
There are more than 38km of these in the historical centre, and their shelter makes for a lovely stroll.
2 Do go out at night - firstly because the Italians really know how to light their monuments, which look stunning bathed in an amber glow; and secondly, because of the buzzing nightlife. Scores of bars, live-music venues and dance clubs give the city a great vibe after dusk, as do the students who attend Bologna's university, which happens to be Europe's oldest.
3 Do watch the world go by at the two main squares, the Piazza Maggiore and Piazza Nettuno. And try not to get vertigo as you look up at the Due Torri or Two Towers, one of which got Bologna its membership in the leaning-monument club.
4 Do prop up the bar when you're sipping your coffee or wine. Perching by the counter is such an Italian thing to do - and besides, prices at some establishments go up the second your bum hits a seat.
5 Do plan a day trip to Modena, where the folks make the famous balsamic vinegar. After a 30-minute train ride from Bologna, you can wander its cobbled streets and grab a bite at the fabulous Via Albinelli covered market.
Further afield, another place worth visiting in the foodie-friendly Emilia-Romagna region is Parma, home of Parma ham and Parmesan cheese.
2 don'ts
1 Don't visit Bologna during its big motor show in December unless this is the purpose of your trip. It can be almost impossible to find a hotel room, which is also the case when large trade fairs are in town. Instead, time your trip to catch some of the many arts, music and opera events. For more information, see www.bolognaturismo.info
2 Don't forget to check opening times, which can be very confusing. Many stores are shut on Thursday afternoons and Sundays while some are closed on Monday mornings too. Many businesses take a long lunch break from 1pm.
The hours for certain attractions, such as the Teatro Anatomico, the university's grand old operating theatre, are a bit capricious too, so ask at the tourist office to be sure.