Raising kids without raising voices

Raising kids without raising voices

Seriously Kidding

SINGAPORE - On New Year's Eve, my seven-year-old son Jason was playing with some foam stickers when my four-year-old daughter Shannon came along and wanted to join in the fun.

Unfortunately, he was not in a charitable mood and shooed her away brusquely.

"Go away," he said repeatedly. "But I want to play with you," she continued to plead. This alternated with: "Mummy, gor gor (elder brother) is shouting at me." Both their voices escalated in volume.

I initially ignored their fight, hoping it would fizzle out, but it did not happen.

Before I knew it, I had, unfortunately, joined in the match - breaking every rule in the parenting book, going on a tirade and eventually silencing them with a piercing glare.

My tongue-lashing went along the lines of: "Why are you both fighting so early in the morning? Is there a need to shout at mei mei? Why are you touching gor gor's things again?" This was all at a volume which could rival theirs, and that irony did not escape me.

I've always thought of myself as a calm and collected person, but motherhood has changed me.

Before having children, I was seldom a yeller. Now, it is a rare day when I don't raise my voice at them. Is it them or is it me?

I marvel at parents who seem to be able to keep their cool, who can talk to their misbehaving child in a gentle yet firm tone.

I've decided that my New Year resolution is to be a more mellow mum, you know, the one who, upon hearing her children shriek at each other, can calmly tell them to stop their fight without having to raise a decibel.

In reality, I'm not sure how that would work. Would two screaming children be able to hear what their soft-spoken mum is saying?

I've realised that their fighting is the primary thing that sets me off. But it is not the only one.

More about

parenting
Purchase this article for republication.

BRANDINSIDER

SPONSORED

Most Read

Your daily good stuff - AsiaOne stories delivered straight to your inbox
By signing up, you agree to our Privacy policy and Terms and Conditions.