Keeping K-pop fever in check

Keeping K-pop fever in check

He killed his daughter because she had a K-pop obsession that, in his eyes, had gone too far.

Last November, Mr Zhou Kai, who is from Beijing, hacked his 13-year-old daughter Xiao Nan to death with a chopper after she had screamed at him that her K-pop idols would always be better than him.

Mr Zhou, 42, who was unemployed, slashed his own wrist after he murdered his daughter, but the suicide attempt failed. Xiao Nan died two months before her 14th birthday.

The shocking story, which was reported by Chinese media last month and circulated widely on the Internet, has horrified K-pop fans all over the world.

Local K-pop fans, however, say that this was an extreme case of obsession gone wrong, and that most fans here are not so obsessed.

Miss Jeanie Chan, 26, president of 13elieve SG, the biggest local Super Junior fan club, with 90,000 members, told The New Paper: "There's a stigma associated with liking K-pop bands which is that K-pop fans are all crazy and obsessed.

MISCONCEPTION

"That is a misconception because there are also many fans like us who know what our priorities are."

The sales and marketing executive added that in her experience, most parents here are okay with their children loving K-pop idols and have learnt to deal with it.

She said: "I'm shocked at how something like that could have led to death. For me, my parents have always put the onus on me to manage my passion for Super Junior.

"They let me chase stars but whatever money I spend on Super Junior I earn myself and I've never let my passion affect my studies or the respectful way in which I treat my parents."

Miss Chan gave the example of how at one Super Junior album collection event, she had called a fan up and reprimanded her for making her mother collect her album for her.

She said that she was scolded by the fan and asked to mind her own business but she "didn't care" because what the fan had done "wasn't right".

Miss Chan's mother, Madam Lee, 52, said that she felt that both sides had a part to play in the China tragedy.

She said: "Xiao Nan was disrespectful to her father and only thought of her own wants without thinking that she was adding to the financial (and mental) stress on the family. Mr Zhou should also have tried to understand the root of her obsession with her idols."

Her way of dealing with her daughter's love of K-pop?

"I have always given my children the freedom to pursue whatever they want, on the condition that they don't harm themselves and others," she said.

PART-TIME JOBS

"They must also achieve their goals on their own, such as saving up or getting a part-time job if they want to spend on their idols. Parents are not money trees."

Two other 13elieve SG members, Miss Jeng Jing Fang and Miss Shirley Low, both 21-year-old students, agreed with Madam Lee and shared their methods of supporting Super Junior without asking their parents for money.

Miss Low has taken up part-time jobs, such as being an exhibition assistant, while Miss Jeng cuts down on her food expenditure.

Other parents of local K-pop fans said that instead of yelling at their children, they have resorted to more "creative" ways to check their obsessions.

EXO fan Goh Xin Ling, a 16-year-old student, said her parents were strict and have controlled her allowance whenever they felt that she had got out of hand.

She said her older sister Xin Yi, a 24-year-old administrative assistant and fellow EXO fan, has taken to "hiding" her posters in the office.

Said Xin Ling: "My sister and I try not to upset our parents who feel that liking EXO will affect our studies.

"So we have kept our grades up and also try to minimise the presence of EXO in front of our parents.

"This is a win-win. I think our parents like to feel loved and like they are important to us so we make sure we respect that.

"I learnt this lesson last year."

Her father, Mr Samuel Goh, a 50-year-old taxi driver, said: "Last year all Xin Yi could talk about was EXO and all she wanted to buy was EXO things so I cut her allowance from $400 to $300 a month and told her that she had to get her head out of the clouds.

"Children are very adaptable, they will behave in the manner you want, to get what they want. Soon after I cut her allowance, she became 'normal' again and I reinstated her original allowance.

"I know she's still crazy over EXO but it's okay now because she has done well in her studies and doesn't bring the topic of EXO to the dinner table any more."

This article was published on April 8 in The New Paper.

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