Miley misses sexy by a mile

Miley misses sexy by a mile

Hi. This is Miley Cyrus' tongue.

Save me.

No, seriously.

The world hates me and the person to whom I am attached to.


This girl, whoops, I meant woman, decided to browbeat the fact that she's a "grown up" 20-year-old into the collective consciousness by twerking and grinding her tiny, prepubescent-looking butt into the groin of Blurred Lines singer Robin Thicke.

It was a horrifying three-minute performance at the MTV Video Music Awards.

And since then, everybody's been hating on my owner.

A Texan blogger's open letter urging her 13-year-old daughter not to emulate her, went viral with thousands of comments.

She had wrote: "If you ever even consider doing something like that, I promise you that I will run up and twerk so you will see how ridiculous twerking looks".

More painfully, the mother also wrote: "I will duct tape your mouth shut so your tongue doesn't hang out like an overheated hound dog."

You think I wanted to expose myself like that?

I was actually trying to escape the mortifying sequence of events, which saw my girl strip down to

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