The VMAs are lame

SINGAPORE - MTV hates videos.

MTV hates music.

MTV hates awards.

I don't know how else to explain the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards.

The only other possible explanation is sheer perversity.

I write about music videos for The New Paper, so obviously it's an art form I adore.

Growing up in the 80s, I was there at the very beginning of the MTV era.

Music videos meant so much to us back then, making us feel like we were somehow part of the glamorous, decadent world inhabited by Duran Duran, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, ZZ Top, Van Halen and Guns N' Roses.

It used to be that you would only ever see these guys in concerts or on magazines, but suddenly there they were, in your living room living out fabulous adventures.

Amorphous rock gods finally took corporeal form.

These days, of course, MTV doesn't give a damn about vids.

While I love what the company has done with shows like Teen Wolf, I'll never forgive it for turning its back on music videos.

In my opinion, they've given up the right to even have a video awards show.

Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball is the video of the year?

Lorde's Royals is the best ROCK video?

Beyonce's Pretty Hurts is the best video with a social message?

Who cares about social messages in music videos, for goodness' sake? And since when is being too pretty a social issue?

Ed Sheeran won the best male video for Sing, which features a puppet instead of the singer himself.

I'm all for puppets - The Dark Crystal fans unite! - but the song itself just sounds like weak-sauce Justin Timberlake, who is already pretty weak sauce.

Cheers For Katy Perry

The only win I sort of agree with is Katy Perry's best female video for Dark Horse.

She has a tonne of natural charm and she obviously had a lot of fun playing dress-up in this vid.

She seems to understand that the basic idea behind music videos is to be hot, and then make yourself look god-like with outlandish costumes, exotic sets, perfect lighting and an interesting concept.

She's one of the few pop stars who actually seems to understand the concept of pop stardom.

Anyway, if you want to see my picks for the vids of the year, look to the right of this page.

You probably won't agree with me, in which case you know you have some growing up to do.

Ha ha. JK (but not really).

This article was first published on August 27, 2014.
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