What's in this year's $142,000 Oscars gift bag?

What's in this year's $142,000 Oscars gift bag?

Eyeing a pelvic floor exercise tracker, but not ready to commit to the purchase?

Read also: The brands behind the scenes at the Oscars 2017

Just go back in time, become a promising actress, land a film role, score an Oscar nomination and reach out to the marketing company putting together a swag bag for this year's nominees including, you guessed it, a pelvic exercise floor tracker.

Los Angeles-based marketing firm Distinctive Assets is not in any way affiliated with the Oscars - in fact, the Academy has sued to put a stop to this nonsense - and there's no evidence that they're actually distributed to nominees, but that hasn't stopped them from publicizing it every year.

Read also: Singaporean up for 2 Oscars for La La Land

Items in the very unofficial Academy Awards gift bag for 2017 total about $100,000 (S$142,000) and are as over-the-top as ever. While this year's bag includes a few big-ticket items - like a three-day stay at a private California mansion - we're more interested in the stuff that's actually useful. For example:

  • A tube of ChapStick
  • A personal CPR kit, because you really never know!
  • A customised 64-count box of Crayola crayons
  • Fancy foot cream
  • Underarm patches that protect your shirts from sweat stains
  • Multiple cases of apples, in case you really love pie
  • Just a bunch of energy bars
  • "A Bangarang handmade wooden box filled with 199 cards that have positive actions and quotes," which surely serves some currently unidentifiable purpose

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