It is inevitable. Debauchery attracts douchebags.
These nocturnal creatures come in all 50 shades of obnoxious. They either cut queues at heaving bars, dance like they were tasered, look down on the slightest gap in your clubbing knowledge or just vomit on your dancing shoes.
Not all have ill intentions, but they are a sickness. These nasty human-looking creatures of the night(life) should be quarantined.
Since they are not listed as a dangerous (hopefully endangered) species, here are eight types to look out for.
Tweet me at @zulandra and share your night life experiences with the hashtag #TNPSUN
THE HOT MESS
With model-like features and a quasi-celebrity swagger, this particular punter is a head-turner.
But what many do not realise is that the hot mess is an emotional time bomb - and she is about to explode.
Not everyone goes out to celebrate. Some are out to drown their sorrows. Some are in a cage of denial - the key to which is just a few drinks.
They usually end up falling through a bottomless pit of misery. And misery loves company. Do not be that company.