Don't judge me by my face, says student who struggled with acne

This is an ongoing series for Gen Z by Gen Z. A collaboration between Republic Polytechnic's School of Management & Communication and AsiaOne.

We've often heard the phrase: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The quote implies that it is the observer who judges and that beauty has no place of its own.

Having suffered with acne for as long as I can remember, I'm still haunted by the dark memories of being the subject of such random judgement.

I had constant breakouts ravaging my forehead, cheeks and chin. Countless small bumps, accompanied by larger, angry red bumps that were painful to the touch. I was at war with acne, the scars of battle all over my face.

The moment I wake up, I would rush to the mirror and count how many new bumps had popped up. That would spoil my day and I would feel sad and upset as I felt unattractive and alone. It was not just about feeling ugly.

I started isolating myself and would cancel plans with friends if more pimples popped up.

I never liked taking pictures and even when I did, I never posted them online without editing.

I discovered how to digitally remove every single blemish before posting them as even make-up could not hide the texture of my skin.

This took a toll on my emotional health and self-esteem.

Hence, I started the very expensive trips to the dermatologist. I had tried so many treatments and spent a lot of money till I found one that worked.

Once my skin started clearing up I was so relieved and happy — I felt it was all worth it.

Comfortable in my own skin

The journey to getting that clear skin was indeed a painful one, mentally and physically.

Some people were kind enough not to mention my acne. However, often well-meaning friends and relatives would say "wash your face".

How do you "wash" away acne?

I am sure there was no malicious intent, but I was already sensitive about my blemished face and such comments just made me go deeper into my shell.

Let me clear up the misconception that acne is only caused by poor hygiene.

On the contrary, many people who struggle with acne actually have an incredibly complex skin routine. There is a myriad of other factors that can cause acne ranging from hormones to stress to excessive production of sebum.

The road to feeling some sense of normalcy and comfort in one's skin when you have acne is a long one, and there are certainly a lot of bumps along the way.

No pun intended here.

For me I searched and searched till I found a routine that worked for me. I also followed inspiring role models online who had dealt with acne and became a source of acne-support. Only then did I start embracing my own skin, becoming comfortable and starting to love myself.

Today my skin is on its way to recovery and I have regained my confidence. I am going out more and socialising more with no make-up and posting pictures without editing. This may not be a big deal to many but it is certainly a giant leap for me.

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Society's beauty standards

Let's be honest. Ask anyone to imagine a beautiful face and what comes to mind? A person with smooth, crystal-clear, glowing skin will appear.

While I do not want to blame anyone, it is what it is: society and its definition of beauty.

While there have been attempts to be inclusive in advertisements regardless of shape and colour of women, no one puts an acne-faced woman on an advertising campaign unless it is a cure for acne.

In recent years, many influencers and advocates of inclusive beauty insist that acne is not ''ugly'', but trust me society still has trouble accepting those with blemished skin.

I feel more can be done by influencers and even the advertising industry to help young girls and women with acne by putting out a positive message.

Use them like they would use their porcelain smooth-faced models. Being inclusive is not just embracing diversity, it is also to change mindsets in society about what is beauty and who defines it.

Old sayings such as "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" have to be thrown out and we should move towards what singer Christina Aguilera said in her song, "I am beautiful no matter what they say."

That is the shift in mindset needed so girls like me do not suffer the way I did.

READ MORE: 'Everyone watching makes me feel uneasy': Students speak up on mental health struggles during home-based learning

Angela Sarah Fernandez is a second-year student pursuing a Diploma in Mass Communication. She also writes for the campus news website, The Republican Post.