Extend protection order to unwed women

Unmarried women abused by their boyfriends cannot apply for a personal protection order (PPO) from the courts to stop the violence, and social workers hope this will change.

Pave, a charity specialising in tackling family violence, has submitted a paper to the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) detailing why those in intimate heterosexual relationships, such as dating or cohabiting couples, should be allowed a PPO.

Currently, a person can apply for a PPO only against a family member, such as a spouse, parent or sibling.

Pave posted its paper on the website of Reach, the Government's feedback unit, on Oct 20, after the MSF sought public feedback to proposed changes to the Women's Charter on Oct 19.

Pave executive director Sudha Nair told The Sunday Times that more women are calling the organisation for help as their boyfriends or live-in partners are abusive. Some even ended up in hospital after being battered repeatedly.

So far this year, 41 such women have called Pave for help, compared with 31 for all of last year.

Dr Nair said: "The vast majority of these women did not come back (to Pave) after finding out there was no protection available for them, other than making a police report or a Magistrate's Complaint."

She added that making a police report may not help much to stop the abuse, as the police may not arrest the abuser.

Lawyers explain that unless these women suffer "grievous hurt", such as life-threatening injuries or permanent disfigurement, the police cannot arrest the abuser without a warrant.

Lawyer Ellen Lee said: "A woman can be hit repeatedly, but it may be considered a non-arrestable offence if there are no grievous injuries. The police may not act as they deem it a domestic matter between the couple. It is an uphill task for unmarried women to get legal protection now."

Lawyer Malathi Das, president of the Singapore Council of Women's Organisations (SCWO), noted that abused women - wed or unwed - face the same struggles that prevent them from ending an abusive relationship.

She said it is unrealistic to subject the unwed women to criminal laws, instead of laws designed to stop domestic violence.

She said: "Do we want to wait until someone is grievously hurt before the criminal laws kick in and the police arrest the abuser?"

However, if an unwed woman has a PPO, the police can arrest the abuser the next time he hits her, regardless of the severity of the abuse.

The PPO is also more effective in quickly putting a stop to domestic violence, compared with filing a Magistrate's Complaint with the courts to seek redress for the abuse, the lawyers said.

Dr Nair said it is far from easy for unmarried women to walk out of their abusive relationships.

Some fear that the men would hurt them terribly if they leave.

Others hope he would change for the better.

Take, for example, a woman in her 30s whose taxi driver boyfriend threatens her family whenever she tries to leave him, her social worker, Madam Adisti Jalani, said. She was tied to him as they live together and he supports her financially.

Madam Adisti said: "If she disagreed with him, he would kick, punch or strangle her."

He once beat her so badly that she needed several eye operations.

Dr Nair said that it is important to nip violence in the bud, even among dating couples.

This is because an average of about one in five people who were abused by their spouses or were abusive themselves said the violence started when they were dating, going by Pave's spousal violence cases for its past three financial years.

The Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) and the SCWO support Pave's proposal.

Aware said that its Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) and its helpline regularly get calls from singles who are abused by their partners. So far this year, the SACC has helped 23 such cases.

An MSF spokesman told The Sunday Times that there are laws to protect these women, such as the Penal Code and the Protection from Harassment Act.

She added: "We will seriously consider all feedback for the Women's Charter public consultation, welcome other views on Pave's proposal or other suggestions to better protect victims against violence and harassment."

Daughter won't leave abusive boyfriend

Ben feels so helpless and aggrieved that he cannot do anything to stop his daughter's boyfriend from abusing her.

The boyfriend has slapped, kicked, punched and strangled his 30-year-old daughter multiple times.

Yet, the police have not arrested the boyfriend, Ben (not his real name), a 60-year-old administrator, told The Sunday Times.

He suspected something was amiss when he spotted bruises on his daughter's limbs last year.

The clerk confessed that her boyfriend of more than a year had hit her. Once, he bashed her until she lost consciousness. Another time, he pushed her and she fell, suffering a serious cut on her head.

He was also very possessive, and suspicious of others. He forbade her from contacting her friends, and bugged her phone to keep tabs on her movements, her social worker Tey Meiqi said.

Ben said: "We told her to break up with him umpteen times. She said he is a nice guy, but has an anger-management problem.

"I think she is so afraid of him or she has fallen so much for him that she can't let go."

Ben made his daughter lodge two police reports last year. But the police did not arrest the boyfriend. Instead, they told her to file a magistrate's complaint with the courts to seek redress to stop the abuse.

A police spokesman confirmed that police reports had been made, and they had advised Ben's daughter on her legal recourse.

But his daughter downplayed the violence when filing the magistrate's complaint and the case was dropped, Ben said.

"My wife and I are very fearful for her life and her future," he said. "It is most frustrating that the law does not protect her."

Taking time to build rapport

Once, a man in his late 20s was referred to Dr Joanna Ngo, 30, for dental treatment under general anaesthesia. He had badly decayed teeth and was deemed uncooperative by the polyclinic that referred him.

The man, who has cerebral palsy, was not willing to open his mouth when he visited polyclinic dentists despite needing root canal treatments and fillings.

"On the first visit, I had a chat with him and realised that he's quite intelligent. It turned out that him being uncooperative had a reason - his mouth area is very sensitive," said Dr Ngo.

In that first hour-long visit, she coaxed him into opening his mouth long enough for a cleaning and a small filling.

Before sending the patient home, Dr Ngo told his parents she needed time to build rapport with him and help him get used to dental procedures to avoid the use of general anaesthesia.

The man's dental issues could have been fixed in two to three hours by putting him under general anaesthesia - instead of the eight visits with Dr Ngo so far and counting.

But she said that any surgery could lead to complications and, worse, his dental problems could re-emerge, with him and his parents not knowing how best to take care of his teeth.

"You can go for general anaesthesia, anyone can, but there's no behavioural training. The patient doesn't learn how to behave in the dental chair," added Dr Ngo, who practises special-needs dentistry at Khoo Teck Puat Hospital, the Institute of Mental Health and the National Dental Centre.

This article was first published on November 1, 2015.
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